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Mystery Men (1999)

by Neil Cuthbert.
Based on the Dark Horse comic created by Bob Burden.
Revised June 6, 1997.

More info about this movie on IMDb.com


FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY


THEME AND CREDITS...

FADE IN:

EXT.  ERIE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE - DAY

CAMERA MOVES THROUGH a tangled jungle of razor wire, finally COMING
INTO VIEW of a foreboding, fortress-like old institution, surrounded by
towers and gun turrets.  Screaming and horrible laughter is heard from
within...

CLOSE ON a sign that reads "Erie Hospital for the Criminally Insane"
... This is where the worst killers and psychos go.

INT.  CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

THE CAMERA PANS THE EXPRESSIONLESS FACES of the REVIEW BOARD as
CASANOVA FRANKENSTEIN sits across from them.  Dressed in an
immaculately tailored prison smock (with "Casanova" exquisitely
embroidered above the pocket), he sits contritely as DOCTOR EMMET
BIERCE, the hospital's fatherly Chief of Psychiatry, presents his case.

		BIERCE
	No one can deny the horrendous nature of Mr.
	Frankenstein's crimes, but in the twenty years
	he has been with us, I have never seen a
	patient turn his energies to more productive
	use.

CASANOVA, the picture of remorse and repentance.

		BIERCE
	Just look at his accomplishments... three
	volumes of poetry, two rock operas, a sculpture
	garden, four romance novels... and who can
	forget his touching portrayal of Billy Bigelow
	in our all-psychotic production of
	"Carousel"...

ON SEVERAL OF THE BOARD getting misty eyed at the memory of that
brilliant performance...

		BIERCE
	Directed by our own Doctor Anabel Leek.

ON DOCTOR ANABEL LEEK, the hospital's icily beautiful, ultra cool, top
shrink.

A moment later Casanova addresses them... His manner is charming,
sincere, his voice soft, filled with emotion.  He is a master of
seduction.

		CASANOVA
	Twenty years ago I was a lost soul.
	Loveless...
	(with a son-like glance at Doctor Bierce)
	Fatherless...
	(chokes on the word)
	A... psycho!
	(breaks down sobbing)
	Oh!  How could I have done it? The murder...
	the mayhem... all of those lovely young girls!
	(weeping, a brilliant performance)
	I'm sorry!  I'm SO SO SORRY!

Doctor Bierce wipes the tears from his eyes.  Reactions from the board,
moved, as Casanova weeps convulsively.  Doctor Leek shows no reaction.

		CASANOVA
		(pulls himself together)
	But my deeds have been done, and my youth is
	gone, and we can only go forward in this cruel
	world... and if I have learned anything from my
	wretched life it is that... When you walk
	through a storm, keep your head held high...
		(singing)
	And don't be afraid of the dark...

Tears plop dawn the cheeks of the review board as the FULLY
ORCHESTRATED STRAINS OF "WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH A STORM" SWELL...

SERIES OF SHOTS - AS THE MUSIC CONTINUES

A hand stamps Casanova's file "CURED"... Casanova shakes hands and
embraces the tearful members of the review board, finishing with a
paternal hug from Doctor Bierce.

In his cell a guard delivers Casanova his favorite old disco suit
(that's been waiting far him for twenty years).

Casanova, dressed in the suit, walks down the central aisle of the
lock-up... A moment later he steps out of the massive gates of the
hospital, and takes his first deep breath of freedom... while in an
office window high above Bierce and the members of the review board
stand watching, very proud...

But suddenly THE MUSIC CHANGES TO SEVENTIES DISCO as a black Ferrari
drives up, and Doctor Leek, now dressed very sexily, gets out... As the
review board watches in stunned silence, Casanova and Anabel perform a
nifty little disco twirl, finishing with a very lewd kiss...

Bierce, watching, realizes he's been duped... as Casanova, grinning up
at him, puts a long gold chain (his favorite weapon) around his neck...
Bierce, horrified, picks up the telephone... as Casanova and Anabel get
in the car.

INT.   THE CAR - A MOMENT LATER

Casanova and Anabel drive off.  The massive old hospital is seen
through the rear window behind them, as Casanova calmly looks at his
watch...

CLOSE ON HIS WATCH -

as the second hand just swings toward the twelve.  It is exactly twelve
noon...

BACK ON CASANOVA -

		CASANOVA
		(almost wistfully)
	Boom.

And the hospital EXPLODES in a HUGE FIREBALL that completely consumes
it.

		CASANOVA
	Those gas leaks can be murder.

EXT.  THE ROAD - DAY

The Ferrari drives past and the CAMERA HOLDS ON a sign that reads
"We1come to Champion City, home of Captain Amazing". The city itself, a
crumbling rust belt metropolis (ala Detroit) can be seen stretched out
along the shore of Lake Champion off in the distance...

INSIDE THE CAR - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

		CASANOVA
	I'm home.

BACK ON THE ROAD  - CONTINUOUS

The Ferrari drives under a much larger billboard that looms over the
road, showing a picture of Captain Amazing himself, a square jawed
classic superhero, staring fiercely into the camera.  The caption reads
"Crime.  Don't even think about it."

EXT.  TRAIN YARDS OF CHAMPION CITY - NIGHT

Letters read "Six months later"...

as the CAMERA EXPLORES the desolate muddy terrain of the train yards,
CRUISING past piles of tires and abandoned train cars...

CAMERA PICKS UP a battered van as it drives through the yard, then
pulls up beside an old boxcar.  The back of the van is thrown open, a
ramp is thrown down, and THE RED EYES, a gang of vicious small time
thieves (all of whom wear sunglasses with red lenses) start unloading
their night's haul... RED EYE 1 drives a golf cart, with clubs, down
the ramp.

		RED EYE 1
	Golf anyone?

Several more Red Eyes emerge carrying a sawn off bike rack with bikes
still attached, a barber pole, a Virgin Mary lawn statue, and a top of
the line baby stroller... while their leader, BIG RED, stands in the
door to the boxcar, watching approvingly.

		RED EYE 2
	Not a bad night's work.

		BIG RED
	Who said crime don't pay?

The Red Eyes laugh... as Red Eye 3 takes the cover off the baby
stroller and sees... that there's a BABY still in it.

		RED EYE 3
	Hey, Boss, we got a stowaway.

The crooks gather around the baby, a jolly little kid who just laughs
at them.

		RED EYE 4
		(about to slug him)
	Who you laughin' at, punk?

		RED EYE 2
	He's just a tyke.  Lighten up.

		RED EYE 5
	He's kinda cute.

		RED EYE 3
	If you like drool.

		RED EYE 2
	Hey, why don't we sell him back to his parents?
	For a million bucks!

The others think that's a great idea, but Big Red doesn't.

		BIG RED
	And what if he rats on us?

The others hadn't thought of that.

		RED EYE 3
	So what should we do with him?

		BIG RED
	Stick a brick in his Pampers and dump him in
	the lake.

The others think that's a good idea and look around for a brick.

		RED EYE 3
	Come on, kid, you're goin' for a swim.

But suddenly there is another presence... A man in a blue turban and
cape with the initials "BR" on his chest has appeared... He is THE BLUE
RAJA.

		RAJA
	Not so fast, gentlemen--and I use the term
	loosely... Unhand that youngster...

Another man steps into the light.  He wears a construction helmet and
mask.  There is an "S" on his chest, and he carries an old shovel.  He
is THE SHOVELER.

		SHOVELER
	Or you're mulch.

He brandishes his shovel for effect.  The Red Eyes look at these two,
highly amused.

		BIG RED
	What are you guys supposed to be...
	superheroes?

A third man steps out.  His costume is less dramatic than the others.
He wears only an old leather jacket and a faded, torn shirt with flames
on it, but the fierce look on his face and the atrociousness of his
haircut make it very clear that he is the craziest and most dangerous
of the three.  He is MISTER FURIOUS.

		FURIOUS
	We ARE superheroes!

		BIG RED
	Really?  Did you mother make those costumes?

The crooks howl with laughter.

		BIG RED
	This is our territory.  Beat it.

		FURIOUS
	Over YOUR dead body.

Big Red turns to the others and shakes with pretended fear.

		BIG RED
	0ooooo, he's scary.

The Red Eyes laugh, but suddenly, a small silver projectile whizzes
through the air and implants itself in Big Red's backside.  He howls
with pain, pulls it out and examines it... It's a silver dessert fork.

		BIG RED
	A fork!

The Raja holds up his hands, each of which hold a spread of silver
forks.

		RAJA
	And there's plenty more where that came from.

Big Red gives a shrill whistle, and a dozen more Red Eyes step out of
an old caboose... including MIKEY, a four hundred pound behemoth.  He
is eating a container of Ben and Jerry's like it was an ice cream cone,
taking huge bites out of it, container and all.

RAJA AND SHOVELER, reacting... Gulp.  This was more than they'd
bargained for.  But Furious just growls; he's game.

		BIG RED
	GET 'EM!

The Red Eyes attack... Mister Furious goes into a furious face; his
hair stands out straight and he rushes right into the oncoming
crooks...

A Red Eye takes a swing at the Shoveler--but he simply puts up his
shovel and lets the crook slug the shovel's pan.  The crook yelps with
pain and shakes his battered hand... as the Raja fends off crooks,
poking them with salad forks... and the baby sits in his stroller,
watching and laughing, really enjoying the show.  (There's no real
martial artistry or teamwork here; this is a classic back alley
brouhaha.)

But there's too many of then... The Raja goes down under swinging
fists... and so does the Shoveler...

Furious holds his own, taking out crooks with powerful lefts and
rights--until Mikey runs him down like a truck, falling right on top of
him and crushing him under his massive weight.

		RED EYES
	Crush him, Mikey!... Mash him!... Mush him!

		FURIOUS
		(barely audible under all that meat)
	Is that all you got?

		RED EYES
	He wants more!... Squish him!... Finish him
	off!

		FURIOUS
		(faintly)
	Your mother!

Mikey, sweating, bears down... but suddenly, a calm, very authoritative
voice is heard.

		VOICE (0.S.)
	Is there a problem?

Everything suddenly stops, as the Red Eyes look up and see... CAPTAIN
AMAZING standing on tap of the boxcar, hands on hips, framed in the
light at the moon, his biceps bulging, his state of the art physique
sculpted body armor gleaming in the moonlight, his cape wafting
heroically in the wind.  He is superhero perfection incarnate.

ON THE RED EYES as their viciousness turns instantly to panic...

		RED EYES
	IT'S CAPTAIN AMAZING!

Big Red and a couple others try to run for it, but Amazing leaps ca-
like off the boxcar and is on them in a flash.  As the baby claps his
hands in delight, and our three heroes watch in beat-up awe, Amazing
deftly takes out the crooks with expert punches and effortlessly
delivered elbows and kicks. He is the consumate superhero, and he
doesn't even break a sweat.

The remaining Red Eyes drop to their knees and throw up their hands in
surrender.

		RED EYES
	We give!... We're sorry!... We had terrible
	childhoods!  (Etc.)

Police cars and a TV truck come screeching into the train yard... and
the scene is suddenly flooded vith light and swarming with cops and
reporters...

Our three heroes try to approach Captain Amazing (who still looks fresh
as a daisy).

		RAJA
	Nice work, Captain.

But Amazing just walks past them, ignoring them completely, as if they
didn't even exist.  He goes to greet DAWN WONG (Champion City's answer
to Connie Chung).

		AMAZING
		(turning on the old superhero charm)
	Hi. Dawn.

		DAWN
		(putty in his hands, pudding in his bowl)
	Looks like you've done it again, Captain.

		AMAZING
	It's what I do.

Our heroes just watch, feeling ignored, humiliated.  Furious growls.
Suddenly, TWO COPS are accosting them.

		COP 1
	Okay, show's over. Move it. On your way.

		RAJA
	Wait a minute, Officers. You don't understand--
	we're superheroes, and we just busted up this
	gang.

		COP 1
	Really?  Let me guess-you're Towel Head and
	he's...
		(meaning the Shoveler)
	Captain Pooper Scooper!

The cops crack up.  Furious growls at them.  The cops yank out their
nightsticks.

		COP 1
	Hey!  Move it!

		COP 2
	Get a life!

		COP 1
	And leave crime fighting to the real thing!

Shoveler and Raja pull Furious away before he gets into real trouble...
The cops watch as our three heroes disappear into the night.

		COP 1
	Wannabes.

		COP 2
	Pathetic.

EXT.  THE LAKESIDE DINER - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

An inner city greasy spoon.

INT.  THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON A TV SCREEN

on which Captain Amazing, the laughing baby in his arms, is being
interviewed by Dawn Wong.  He's playing the cutsy photo op for all its
worth, gootchy-gooing the kid, etc.  Dawn is creaming.

Our three heroes sit at a booth in the back of the diner, watching the
tube...

		RAJA
		(nursing a sore jaw)
	He doesn't miss a trick, does he?

		FURIOUS
	What a jerk--and like nobody knows who he really is!

		SHOVELER
	Oh don't start that again--

		FURIOUS
	LOOK!

Furious picks up the newspaper on which there is a photo of a good
looking guy in a tux at a benefit... The headline reads "Lance Hunt
Hosts Benefit."  He holds the picture up next to the television, so the
faces of Lance Hunt and Captain Amazing are side by side.  It is
obviously the same guy.

		FURIOUS
	He's Lance Hunt!  Just take off the glasses--
	and it's him!

		RAJA
	There's a vague similarity.

		FURIOUS
	A vague similarity?  IT'S THE SAME GUY!

		SHOVELER
		(downing some aspirin)
	0h, who gives a damn who he is? I can't take
	this anymore.  Night after night we're on the
	streets, busting our humps--and for what?

		RAJA
	We take the licks and he gets the chicks.

		SHOVELER
	How long do you have to chase a dream before
	you realize it's not gonna happen?

		FURIOUS
	We need a break, that's all! Nobody'd ever
	heard of him until he busted Casanova
	Frankenstein!

		RAJA
	But look at him... and look at us.

		SHOVELER
	The camera loves him.

A depressed silence.  Furious turns his attention to the napkin
dispenser.

		FURIOUS
		     (furious)
	Why do they always fill stuff these things so
	full you can't pull 'em out without ripping
	'em!
		   (rips one out)

		RAJA
	I lost another fork tonight.  She's getting
	suspicious, I know it.

		FURIOUS
	So why don't you just tell her!

		RAJA
	I can't.

		FURIOUS
	Why not?

		RAJA
		     (upset)
	Because I can't!  Okay?  She wouldn't
	understand!

		SHOVELER
	Leave him alone.  She's his mother, not yours.

		FURIOUS
	We had an off night, that's all.

		SHOVELER
	So when are we gonna have an on night?

A WAITRESS is standing at the table.

		WAITRESS
	Hi.

They look at her, taken aback.  She's very pretty.

		RAJA
	You're... new.

		WAITRESS
	It's my first night.  My name's Monica.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS, smitten by her, but almost afraid to look at her.
Under all that rage, he's in fact shy.

		MONICA
	You guys going to a costume party?

		RAJA
	We're superheroes.

		MONICA
	Really?  Like Captain Amazing?

Furious growls.

		MONICA
	Are you famous?

		RAJA
	Not yet.

		MONICA
	So you're like... struggling superheroes?

		RAJA
	We prefer to think of ourselves as unsung... I
	am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware...
		(does a very impressive
		little flipping thing with
		his place setting)

		MONICA
	Wow.

		RAJA
	And these are my associatiates, the Shoveler.

		SHOVELER
	Hi.

		RAJA
	And Mister Furious... His anger is his power.

		MONICA
		(intrigued by Furious)
	Really?

		RAJA
	Usually a superpower is a magical endowment or
	a great skill.  In his case, it's entirely
	emotional.

		MONICA
	So what can I get you?

		RAJA
	Burgers all around.
		(meaning himself)
	Medium.
		(meaning the Shoveler)
	Rare.
		(meaning Furious}
	Raw.

A moment later as Monica walks away, Furious can't help but
watch her.  The Raja replaces the diner's dinnerware with the good
stuff from his coat.

		RAJA
	She likes you.

		SHOVELER
	Definitely.

		RAJA
	Ask her out.

		FURIOUS
	Nah.

		RAJA
	Roy, when was the last time you had an actual
	date?

		FURIOUS
		(getting very pissed off)
	What does it matter?  Women just want to
	control you--and talk about their feelings.
	They want to know why you're angry all the
	time--and what can they can do to help--so you
	tell them there's nothing--nothing--just leave
	me alone--but they bug you and they bug you and
	they bug you--until you just can't stand it
	anymore!--so you finally open up--you pop like
	a blister--and it all comes spewing out--all
	your emotions--your feelings--your fears--all
	of it!
		(after a beat)
	And then they dump you.

		RAJA
	So you're chicken?

		FURIOUS
		     (fiercely)
	Who's chicken?
		(gets up)

Monica stands at the counter placing her order.  Furious approaches
her, leans against the counter.  For a moment he just stands there,
fuming, unable to think of anything to say. She isn't sure what to make
of this.

		FURIOUS
	Doesn't it piss you off the way the when you
	really want to talk to somebody you can't think
	of anything to say!

		MONICA
	I guess... Are you always so angry?

		FURIOUS
	Only when I'm awake... You busy after work?

She shrugs.

		FURIOUS
	Want to go out and get drunk?

She's visibly turned off by that.

		FURIOUS
	Or talk?

		MONICA
	Not tonight.
		(picks up an order and walks away)

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE DINER - LATER

Furious, the Raja, and the Shoveler step out.

		RAJA
	Maybe you should try a more romantic approach.

		FURIOUS
		(gets on his old Harley)
	Like what?  Cutting off my own ear?

		RAJA
	Or flowers.

		FURIOUS
	See ya tomorrow.

Furious kicks his engine started and speeds off into the night as the
Shoveler opens the door of his battered Ford Esquire station wagon, and
the Raja gets into his ancient Datsun.

EXT.  RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT

The Shoveler pulls into the driveway of his very modest house. The
front yard looks like a battle zone.  Bikes and kids' junk are
everywhere.

LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER

as big a disaster area as the front yard. His kids, EDDIE JR. (15),
LENORE (12), BUTCH (10), TRACY (7), and ROLAND (5) are all sprawled in
front of the television. The Shoveler enters, and his kids don't even
bother to look up from the tube.

		SHOVELER
	Hey, when are you guys gonna clean this place
	up?

		TRACY
	When you're on TV.

		EDDIE JR.
	Right--like that will ever happen.

		LENORE
	Save any babies lately?

ON THE SHOVELER, silent, hurt.

		TRACY
	Faster than a speeding turtle--

		BUTCH
	More powerful than a deodorant--

		EDDIE JR.
	Able to eat twelve donuts in a single sitting--

		LENORE
	Look, snoring in his chair--

		EDDIE JR.
	Sitting on the john--

		ALL
	It's... Supergut!

The kids all laugh (in that derisive way that kids do so well) as the
Shoveler dejectedly walks into the kitchen.

INT.  KITCHEN - A MOMENT LATER

The Shoveler enters, dejected.  His wife, Lucille, is doing the dishes.
She looks up, sees him.

		LUCILLE
		  (feels for him)
	Rough night, Eddie?

He nods.

EXT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

The Raja's Datsun is parked in front of a neat as a pin little
Victorian house.

INT.  THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The room is dark.  Someone is sneaking around.  A drawer is quietly
opened, and we hear the gentle clink of silver. Suddenly, the light
goes on and we see the Blue Raja, now dressed in a sport shirt and
slacks, with his hand in the drawer.  His MOTHER, in her nightclothes,
stands by the door where she has just switched on the light.

		MOTHER
	Jeffrey!

		RAJA
	Oh hi, Mom.

		MOTHER
	What are you doing in the silver drawer?

		RAJA
	Looking for... the TV Guide.

She just looks at him, very suspicious.

		MOTHER
	It's on the television.

		RAJA
	Of course.  I'm such a fool... Thanks, Mummy.
	Go to bed.

He kisses her and goes into the next room.  CAMERA HOLDS ON MOM; she
doesn't trust him.

EXT.  HILLTOP - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

A billboard overlooking the city.  Captain Amazing is posed wearing a
pair of bright blue Nikes.  The caption reads. "It's a nice world.
Sonebody's got to save it... The Nike Supershoe.  It's Amazing."

Furious sits on his Harley, taking long hauls from a pint bottle of
cheap bourbon and gazing up at the sign.

		FURIOUS
	Amazing?  What's so amazing about him?  I'd be
	amazing, too, if I'd inherited two hundred
	million bucks... or two bucks... or two
	cents...
		(hurls the empty bottle, smashing
		it against the sign)
	Who am I kidding?  Dreams don't come true.

A moment of despondency, and then he hears a strange sound overhead and
looks up...

HIS POV -

as something suddenly flies across the star filled night sky above
him...

It is Captain Amazing, wearing a high tech rocket pack on his back...


		FURIOUS
	Where's he going?
		(kicks his Harley started)

SERIES OF SHOTS - WITH MUSIC

as Furious, following Captain Amazing, rides roughshod down the steep
hill, skidding onto a road and then speeding through a residential
area...

He cuts onto some railroad tracks, hops his bike up on a rail, and
rides smoothly along it, following Amazing... He turns off the tracks,
rides roughly through some woods, then emerges from the trees and
sees..

A foreboding looking old mansion... Captain Amazing lands on the
highest part of its roof... Furious pulls up, gazes at the front gates
of the mansion...

HIS POV -

Letters across the iron gates read... "Frankenstein".

EXT.  ON THE ROOF - CONTINUOUS

Captain Amazing abandons his jet pack and moves across the old slate
roof like Spiderman, leaping nimbly from gable to gable and walking
along a high ridge like a tight rope walker. Finally he approaches a
skylight, looks down and sees...

A huge old library with an iron catwalk running around it. Casanova
Frankenstein sits in a club chair by a roaring tire. Anabel perches on
the arm of his chair.  In the other chair sits a once good looking, now
paunchy guy, with a meticulously coiffed haircut.  He is TONY
POMPADOUR, head of the infamous Disco Boys.

0N CAPTAIN AMAZING

		AMAZING
		(just as he suspected)
	Uh-huh.

He sees that the skylight is open, and quietly lets himself in...

INT.  THE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and Tony P savor glasses of brandy and puff on big cigars.

		CASANOVA
	I hope you enjoy these cigars.  I had to kill a
	dozen Cubans to get them.

		TONY P
	Ummm.

		CASANOVA
	Have you considered my offer?

		TONY P
	You know, Mr. F, me and the boys always loved
	workin' for you.  You had such style: the
	clothes, the dancin', the elegant way you'd
	snuff a babe.  You were the King...

Casanova accepts this graciously.

		TONY P
	But times have changed, and you been in that
	bug house a long tine. I can see you still got
	the style, but I dunno for sure you still got
	the edge.

		CASANOVA
	I got it.

		TONY P
	What about Captain Amazing?

		AMAZING (O.S.)
	Good question.

Casanova and Tony P look up and see Captain Amazing, posed noncalantly
on the iron catwalk, gazing down at them.  Tony P jumps out of his
chair, scared.  But Casanova just smiles at his ancient rival, cool as
a cucumber.

		CASANOVA
	I knew you'd cone.  I left that skylight open
	for you.

		AMAZING
	I know you did.

		CASANOVA
	I knew you'd know.

		AMAZING
	I know you knew I'd know.

		CASANOVA
	But did you know I knew you'd know I'd know?

		AMAZING
	Of course.

Tony P makes a move for his pistol, but Captain Amazing instantly whips
out his pistol, getting the drop on him.

		AMAZING
	I'd hate to waste a good bullet on a piece of
	scum like you, Tony.

Tony freezes.

		AMAZING
	The jig is up, Casanova.  I've spent six months
	watching you, and know exactly what you're up
	to.

		CASANOVA
	Really?

		AMAZING
	I know that you're recruiting your old
	henchmen...

Nervous reaction from Tony P.

		AMAZING
	I know who your girlfriend really is...

Icy reaction from Anabel.

		AMAZING
	And I know the terrible revenge that you plan
	to inflict on this city.

		CASANOVA
	I guess you know just about everything, don't
	you, Lance?

		AMAZING
	Um-hmm.

		CASANOVA
	Except for one little thing.

		AMAZING
		(supremely confident)
	And what's that?

		CASANOVA
	That I've hot wired the city's entire power
	supply through that catwalk.

		AMAZING
	What--?

Casanova suddenly throws a secret breaker switch, and the ugly hum of a
million volts instantly fills the room...

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS - ON FURIOUS

still watching... as all the lights in the house go out, except for a
frightening orange glow in an upper room...

Off in the distance Furious sees... the lights of the entire city
flicker and then black out... A moment later the mansion, and the
city's lights return to normal... as Furious watches, not sure what to
make of this.

EXT. STREET CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

Traffic is snarled.  Horns are blasting.  Tempers are frayed.

CLOSE ON A HAMMERING JACKHAMMER... CAMERA WIDENS TO REVEAL that it is
being operated by the Shoveler, dressed in work clothes.  Wiped out
from the night before, the vibrations of the hamer are lulling him off
to sleep... He nods out... as his BOSS whacks him on the arm.

		BOSS
	YO! CAPTAIN SOMINEX!  Get your shut-eye at
	home, or you'll be a full time superhero!

EXT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT.  THE RAJA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Raja lies sprawled on his bed, depressed, still in his pee jays, as
he watches... an ANTHONY ROBBINS infomercial ON THE TV.

		ANTHONY
	It's all within your power.  The only thing
	that's in your way is YOU!

		RAJA
	Easy for you to say.

EXT.  SALLY'S AUTO DEMOLITION - DAY - ESTABLISHING

An auto junkyard and demotion yard.

EXT.  THE YARD - DAY

A giant press mashes an old car... while nearby Mister Furious does the
job by hand, demolishing an old Grand Prix with an iron bar.  He does
it as easily as a normal guy would tear apart a corrugated box, ripping
off the doors, then tearing off the bumpers and the hood and tossing
the pieces onto a big pile... His big boned, red faced boss SALLY is
calling out to him.

		SALLY
	Hey, Roy!

EXT.  THE BACK OF THE YARD - A MINUTE LATER

In a weedy overgrown far corner of the junkyard Sally and Furious stand
looking a big old hunk of a military vehicle. It is a Herkimer Battle
Jitney, a heavily armored, windowless, soundproof, personnel carrier
(designed by the Pentagon in the fifties to take congressmen on
battlefield fact finding tours).  Overgrown with weeds, home to an
extended family of pigeons, its fighting days (if it ever had any) are
over.

		SALLY
	How many times I gotta tell you about this?

		FURIOUS
	Sally, that's a Herkimer Battle Jitney!  They
	don't make 'em like that anymore.  It's a
	classic!

		SALLY
	It's a hunk of junk.  I want the iron.  Do it!

She walks away.  Furious growls.  He picks up his iron bar and is about
to wedge it under the front bumper of the Herkimer...

HIS POV -

But the big old headlights and the sad old grill seem to be looking at
hint, imploring him for one last chance...

And he just can't do it.  He throws away his iron bar and climbs inside
the cab of the Herkimer...

IN THE CAB - CONTINUOUS

Furious sits behind the wheel and tenderly touches its beat-up old
dashboard, then turns on the radio, which, miraculously still works.
He tunes in a local station, puts his feet up on the dash.

		RADIO ANNOUNCER
	...and continues to deny any knowledge of the
	incident... In local news, millionaire Lance
	Hunt has apparently disappeared...

ON FURIOUS, taking immediate notice.

		RADIO ANNOUNCER
	Members at his household told police that the
	playboy philanthropist failed to return home
	last night after "going out for a walk".
	Police say they have no reason yet to suspect
	foul play, but a search is under way...

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT

Furious, the Shoveler, and the Raja all sit at their booth.

		FURIOUS
	I saw him go in--and he didn't come out!

		RAJA
	But we don't know for sure it's the same guy.

Furious groans.

		SHOVELER
	Hey, look.

ON THE TV -

Casanova is being interviewed by DON STOUFFER, the local Mike Wallace.

		CASANOVA
	Well, Don, I've done some terrible things in my
	life, but now I'm cured, and I just want to
	give back something to my old home town...
	That's why I'm using what's left of my fortune
	to build...

CLOSE ON A MODEL of a huge concrete bunker-like institutional structure
(i.e.  the Getty)

		CASANOVA (O.S.)
	The Frankenstein Center for the Arts.

		DON
	You've changed, haven't you?

	CASANOVA
	Oh yes.

BACK ON FURIOUS, RAJA, and SHOVELER -

		FURIOUS
	No he hasn't.

EXT.  FRANKENSTEIN MANSION - NIGHT - ANGLE ON

the wall of the estate... as our heroes' three heads rise up over
it... and survey the grounds.

		FURIOUS
		(about to climb over)
	Let's go.

		RAJA
		(in a whisper, holding him back)
	Wait!... Look!

THEIR POV -

A group of men are hanging around the door to the house, smoking,
chatting, and laughing.  A CLOSER ANGLE REVEALS that they are all
dressed in the height (or depths) of seventies disco fashion.  One of
them is showing off some steps.

Our heroes fall back behind the safety of the wall and confer.


		RAJA
	This is bad.

		SHOVELER
	Who are they?

		RAJA
	The Disco Boys.

		FURIOUS
	The who?

		RAJA
	The most vicious gang of thugs this city ever
	produced.  Twenty years ago they were
	Casanova's personal bodyguard.  But after he
	was busted they crawled into the woodwork.

		FURIOUS
	Well they've crawled back out.

		SHOVELER
	We may be getting in over our heads here.

		RAJA
	This looks like a job for Superman--

		SHOVELER
	Or Batman--

		RAJA
	Or both.

		FURIOUS
	Don't you guys get it?  If Captain Amazing is
	still in there, we can rescue him--and get on
	TV!
		   (goes right over the wall)

They share an exasperated look, then scramble over the wall after him.

INT.  CASANOVA'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and Dr. Anabel Leek are preparing for bed.  Anabel sits in
front of a huge mirror, brushing her long hair as Casanova moves up
behind her and puts his hands around her throat, massaging, squeezing,
just barely resisting the temptation to strangle her.  (She loves it).

		CASANOVA
	Everything's going exactly as we planned.

		ANABEL
		(puts the sharp point of her
		comb handle under his chin)
	Not quite.  You haven't announced our
	engagement yet.

		CASANOVA
	It must have slipped my mind.

		ANABEL
	Your mind is so slippery.

		CASANOVA
	Don't worry, Pootchkie.  My womanizing days are
	over.  You're my Lady Macbeth, my Imelda... my
	Nicole.
		(pulls her into his arms)
	We're such an incredible team.  Who could
	possibly stop us?
	(kisses her)

CUT RIGHT TO:

EXT.  THE LAWN - CONTINUOUS - ON OUR THREE HEROES

as they crunch their way non too stealthily across the backyard.

		RAJA
	Don't crunch the leaves.

		SHOVELER
	Sorry.

		RAJA
	Be a Mohican.
    		   (bumps into a lawn chair)

		FURIOUS
	Wait.
		(They all stop.)
	I hear something.

They all listen; there is a low rushing sound... It is the sound of
water rushing through pipes.  Suddenly, the lawn sprinklers all pop
up... and our heroes get drenched.  They duck off the lawn, behind the
cover of a large tree.

		RAJA
	I'm soaked.
		    (sneezes)
	Oh great.

		FURIOUS
	Shhh.

		SHOVELER
	Be a Mohican.

		RAJA
	Shut up.

Furious sees a pair of French doors, off a small patio.  One of the
doors is slightiy open.

		FURIOUS
	Come on.

They start sneaking toward it, but as they cross the patio... they trip
the automatic security lighting, and suddenly find themselves bathed in
light.

		RAJA
	Uh-oh.

As our heroes look around as a dozen Disco Boys, armed with pipes,
chains, brass knuckles, step into the light and encircle them... The
French doors open and Tony P steps out.

		RAJA
	Oh I'm sorry.  We must have the wrong house.

		TONY P
	You sure do.

The Disco Boys attack.  The Raja is instantly clubbed down. The
Shoveler deflects only a blow or two with his shovel before he goes
down, too... These guys are not the Red Eyes.

Only Furious holds his own.  He grabs a pipe away from one of them and
swings fiercely, keeping the others off.  Suddenly, the Disco Boys pull
back.  Furious doesn't know why, until he turns and sees...

Casanova, standing right behind him, smiling.

		CASANOVA
	Hi there.

With a cat-like move Casanova slashes his gold chain viciously--and
repeatedly--across Furious' face.  Furious, stunned with pain, lunges
at Casanova, who neatly steps aside, then catches him with a fast
combination of spinning disco kicks.  Finally he lassos the chain
around Furious' neck, and pulls it tight, strangling him.

ON THE DISCO BOYS, watching, snapping their fingers with admiration...

Casanova releases Furious, who slumps to the ground.  Casanova steps
away, and the Disco Boys gather around Furious and kick him
viciously... as Casanova and Tony P watch, amused, chuckling.

		CASANOVA
	Superheroes.

		TONY P
	Should I kill them?

		CASANOVA
		(completely disdainful)
	Why bother?

EXT.  JUST OUTSIDE THE MANSION - A MOMENT LATER

The Disco Boys drag our heroes through the gate and throw them like
bags of garbage into the street... where thay lie in a moaning,
agonized, semi-conscious heap.

INT.  THE DINER - LATER - CLOSE ON

Furious, rubbing his neck; a thin red mark runs around it. The three of
them are sitting at their usual table, in very bad shape, moaning and
groaning... Monica approaches.  She's made them ice packs and cold
compresses.

		MONICA
	Here you go.
		(sits with them, applies a compress
		to the Raja's head)

		RAJA
	Ow.

		MONICA
	Maybe you guys ought to forget this Superhero
	stuff and join Kiwanis or something.

A FUSSY CUSTOMER is calling out from another table.

		FUSSY CUSTORER
	Miss!

She moves off.

		RAJA
	Maybe she's right.

		FURIOUS
		(still furious)
	Are you serious? This is the break we've been
	waiting for!

		SHOVELER
	What are you talking about?

		FURIOUS
	What have the famous superheroes got that we
	don't?

		RAJA
	Agents?

		FURIOUS
	Archenemies!  Casanova isn't just a criminal--
	he's a supervillain. Stopping him could be our
	ticket to fame, fortune--and babes!

		SHOVELER
	And it would be the right thing to do.

		FURIOUS
		   (dismissively)
	Yeah yeah--and that, too.

		RAJA
	But there's only three of us, and he's got the
	entire brotherhood of evil at his disposal.

		FURIOUS
	Then maybe it's time for us to form our own
	brotherhood...
		(more)

		FURIOUS (Cont'd)
	a brotherhood of righteous, crime fighting,
	skull cracking, Disco Boy bashing, warriors of
	the night!

		SHOVELER
	I'm liking this.

		FURIOUS
	I say we send out the word--and summon all of
	the unsung superheroes we know!

		RAJA
		(after a moment)
	Yeah, but... who do we know?

They take a long moment to ponder this.

		FURIOUS
	Well... there's the Spleen.

Shoveler and Raja make disgusted noises.

		RAJA
	Do we have to?

		SHOVELER
	I got this cousin.  He's a real doofus, but he
	claims he can become invisible.

		FURIOUS
	Have you ever seen him?

		SHOVELER
	How could I see him if he's invisible?

		FURIOUS
	Good point.

		RAJA
	And there's the Sphinx.

		SHOVELER
	The who?

		RAJA
	He's a legendary masked Mexican crime fighting
	superwrestler and master of the machete.

		FURIOUS
	Sounds good.

		RAJA
	No one's sure that he actually exists, but they
	say he can be contacted by leaving a message on
	a crumpled up napkin at the Tacky Taco down by
	the bus station.

		SHOVELER
	Get outta here.

EXT.  TACKY TACO - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A funky Mexican restaurant by the bus station.

INT.  THE RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes, in normal clothing, have just finished a taco lunch.
Furious is writing a mssage on a napkin with a ballpoint pen.

		FURIOUS
	You sure that's how you spell it?

		SHOVELER
	Yeah.

CLOSE ON THE NOTE -

which reads "Spinks, we need you."

They crumple up the napkin and leave the restaurant... A moment later a
shy looking MEXICAN MAN busses their tray... but in A CLOSE ANGLE we
see him secretly pocket the napkin.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A little brick house.

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - DAY

A teenage boy's room, decorated to the max with models and posters of
the great superheroes: Batman, Spiderman, Captain Amazing, etc.
INVISIBLE BOY, about fifteen, is being interviewed by the Raja, Mister
Furious, and the Shoveler.

		FURIOUS
	So, let me get this straight.  You have the
	power to become invisible.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Yes.

		RAJA
	But... only when no one is looking.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Yes.

		FURIOUS
	If someone looks at you, you immediately become
	visible again.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Yes.

		RAJA
	So you're only invisible... to yourself?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	No.

		OUR HEROES
		(hopefully)
	No?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	If I look at myseif, I become visible.

		RAJA
	So you're only invisible, when abuolutely no
	one is looking at you?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Yes.

		FURIOUS
	So how do you know that you've ever been
	invisible?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	I just know.

Our heroes are less than impressed.

		FURIOUS
	Look, kid, we've got a lot of heroes to
	interview--

		INVISIBLE BOY
		(desperate)
	I know I haven't got it entirely worked out
	yet, but I've always dreamed of becoming a
	superhero... Weren't you guys ever a kid?
	Didn't you ever need someone to just give you a
	chance?

ON OUR HEROES, looking around the room... and softening up.

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT

Our heroes sit at their usual table along with Invisible Boy and a
weird looking guy in a greasy, stained yellow superhero outfit.  Across
his chest in falling off stick on letters it reads "THE SPLEEN", and
that's exactly who he is.  Furious, the Raja, and Shoveler sit as far
away from him as possible. He is a totally noxious, hyperactive
person... and he is thrilled to be there.

		SPLEEN
	Boy I can't tell you how thrilled I was when
	you guys called--You gonna eat that pickle?
		   (sucks it in)
	I've always dreamed of being a member of the a
	real superhero team--and to have friends--real
	friends--I mean guys I could live with--sleep
	with--die with--eat with...

He puts the mustard dispenser to his lips and squeezes it straight into
his mouth.

		SPLEEN
	I love mustard.

Furious, Raja, and the Shoveler react; they can't believe they've
actually invited this guy to join their group.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	So what exactly is your superpower?

		SPLEEN
	Well, when I was a kid I grew up on Love Canal-
	-remember that?--and my brothers and I used to
	go swimming in it--make Kool-Aid out of it--
	stuff like that.  Anyway my brothers all died,
	but I lived, and I grew all these like weird
	organs that have never been seen in humans
	before.  So now I can do things like this!

He leans over the table and lets just a little tiny drop of spittle
dribble onto the table...

CLOSE ON THE TABLE -

as the spittle burns a hole in the Formica.

		SPLEEN
	Cool, huh?

The Spleen inadvertently gives the tiniest little burp, and our three
heroes duck out of the way or under the table.

		FURIOUS, RAJA, & SHOVELER
	Watch it!... Look out!... Whoa!

The people in the next booth give a cry of revulsion, put their hands
to their mouths, and immediately leave.

		SPLEEN
	Sorry, sorry.

		SHOVELER
	Hey, why don't you just put a cork in it?

		SPLEEN
	I tried that once.  The cork melted.

THE SAME - AFTER DINNER

Our heroes mull their situation over coffee.  Monica freshens their
cups.  The Spleen squirts mustard in his coffee.

		SHOVELER
	There's just not enough of us.

		FURIOUS
	But we know they're out there. Hundreds--maybe
	thousands of lonely, unknown superheroes, who
	desperately need a cause...

		RAJA
	And a social life.

		SHOVELER
	Yeah, but how do we get to them?

		SPLEEN
	Obscene phone calls?

They ignore that suggestion.

		MONICA
	Why don't you throw a barbecue?
		(moves off to another table)

ON OUR HEROES, realizing that's it.

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - NIGHT - WITH MUSIC

Invisible Boy sits at the desk in his room, writing immaculate little
notes on small file cards.  (He's made a whole pile of them.)

CLOSE ON THE NOTE -

which reads "Got superpowers?  Want to fight evil?  Then JOIN US and
let's PARTY HEARTY!  Beer!  Burgers!  Babes!"

SERIES OF SHOTS - MUSIC CONTINUES

as our heroes post these notes all over the city, in places where
lonely superheroes night find them...

The Raja posts a note on the door of a comic book store...

The Shoveler posts a note on the bulletin board at a bowling alley...

Mr. Furious tapes the note to the cracked glass of a vandalized phone
booth...

At an abandoned drive-in movie theater... Invisible Boy walks through
the empty lot, taping a note to each of the old speaker posts...

A White Castle hamburger joint... Inside the pay toilet Spleen is
scratching something on the wall with a nail. He stops and admires his
handiwork, and we see that he has engraved the entire message on the
wall...

END MUSIC.

EXT.  SHOVELER'S BACKYARD - DAY

A small, typical working class backyard.  A round, aluminum above
ground pool.  A Weber grill with burgers on it. Unopened packages of
hamburger rolls.  An old Vic Damon record plays on a boom box.  The
Spleen floats around on a rubber raft in the pool.

		SPLEEN
	Come on in!  The water's great!

In fact, the water is turning a yellowish green... The rest of our
heroes sit around on cheap folding chairs.  No superheroes have shown
up.  The Shoveler, at the grill, serves burgers to his kids, who stand
in line waiting for them.

		BUTCH
		(heavy on the sarcasm)
	Great picnic, Dad.

		EDDIE JR.
	Big turnout.

		ROLAND
	Are these guys real superheroes?

		LENORE
	They think so.

The kids scoff...  A moment later they head back to the house with
their burgers.

		ROLAND
	But where's Captain Amazing?

		EDDIE JR.
	He wouldn't be caught dead here.

They go into the house.  No one says anything.  The Shoveler just
stares at the burgers on the grill.  Vic Damon sings. Furious chugs his
beer; he's working himself into a really morose mood.

ON THE SPLEEN, munching on a chlorine tablet.

		SPLEEN
	Hey, these pool mints are delicious!

Raja looks at his watch.

		RAJA
	Maybe there was traffic.

		FURIOUS
	Who are we kidding?  No one's gonna show.
	We're living in a fantasy!

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Come on, guys--we're fighting against evil.

		FURIOUS
	Good or evil, what's the difference?

		SHOVELER
	There's a big difference.

		FURIOUS
	I used to believe that.  Now I'm not so sure.

		RAJA
	Roy, remember, it is all within your power.
	The only thing that's in your way... is you.

		FURIOUS
	Oh shut up.

Suddenly, there is a knock at the gate.  Everyone immediately perks up.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	They're here!

A moment later they open the gate and see... HALF A DOZEN BURLY GUYS
wearing various superhero outfits.

		THEIR LEADER
	Hey, man, is this the superhero wingding?

		RAJA
	This is it.  Come on in!

		SUPERHEROES
	All right!  Party!  (Etc.)

At first glance these guys seem promising... but their outfits are
decidedly improvised: weird goggles and sunglasses, shower curtain
capes, baseball caps with beer cans on them.  Their leader holds a
squeegee with a long handle... Furious is suspicious.

		RAJA
	I am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware.

		THEIR LEADER
	I am Squeegee Man, and these are my compadres,
	the Invincible Dudes!

The Invincible Dudes spot the keg.

		INVINCIBLE DUDES
	Whoa!  Brews!  Party!  (Etc.)

They go immediately to the keg and start filling beer cups and guzzling
them down.  The Raja tries to hand out some forms.

		RAJA
	Would you mind filling out these forms; names,
	addresses, description of superpowers, that
	sort of thing.

		INVINCIBLE DUDES
	Sure, dude.  No problem.  (Etc.)
		(but they just toss the forms away)

ON FURIOUS, watching, starting to get pissed off.

		INVINCIBLE DUDE 1
	Hey, man, like where are the babes?

		INVINCIBLE DUDE 2
	It said on the card there'd be babes!

		RAJA
	Actually we lied about the babes, but there's
	plenty of burgers.

		INVINCIBLE DUDES
	That's false advertising!... We came all the
	way from South Champion, man!  We coulda gone
	plinking!... We coulda gone bunqee jumping!

		SQUEEGEE MAN
	No babes.  No peace.

		INVISIBLE DUDES (chanting)
	No babes--no peace!  No babes--no peace!  No
	babes--no peace!

		SQUEEGEE MAN
	Let's trash the place!

		INVINCIBLE DUDES
	Yeah!

Furious, fed up, confronts Squeegee Man.

		FURIOUS
	If you're a superhero, what's your power?

		SQUEEGEE MAN
	I am Squeegee Man.
		(holding it out threateningly)
	Touch my squeegee... and you die.

The Invincible Dudes are cracking up.

		FURIOUS
	Can you fly?

		SQUEEGEE MAN
	No.

		FURIOUS
	Wanna bet?

EXT.  JUST OUTSIDE THE YARD - CONTINUOUS

as Squeegee Man comes flying--and screaming--over the fence, landing
none too gracefully in the front yard.

A beat and his squeegee come flying out after him.  Another beat and
the Invincible Dudes come running out the gate in a panic.

		INVINCIBLE DUDES
	Let's get out of here!... That dude's crazy!

They take off down the street, running right past a woman, carrying a
bowling ball bag and dressed in a faded, threadbare old rayon superhero
costume with a decidedly fifties flavor. She is THE BOWLER.

EXT.  SHOVELER'S BACKYARD - A MOMENT LATER

Our heroes sit around the patio, dejected, miserable.

		BOWLER (O.S.)
	Who died?

They look up, see her standing there, and aren't quite sure what to
make of her.

		RAJA
	Who are you?

		BOWLER
	I'm the Bowler.

		SHOVELER
	The Bowler?  I remember him from when I was a
	kid.  He was killed years ago.

		BOWLER
	I'm his daughter.

Our heroes share a look.

		SHOVELER
	Look, honey, being a superhero... it's a
	guy thing.

		BOWLER
	Really?

She takes her bowling ball and spins it on the tip of her finger (like
a Harlem Globetrotter).  For a long moment she just looks at them,
smiling.

ON THE OTHERS watching, almost mesmerized by the spinning ball...

Suddenly, she gives an ear splitting battle cry and starts swinging the
ball around her in wide ferocious arcs, like a cannibal with a war
club--or a twirler on meth, going so fast she almost becomes a blur...

Then, just as suddenly, she stops, aims and rolls her ball... It shoots
straight through Invisible Boy's legs...

ON A NEATLY PLACED COLLECTION OF PLASTER LAWN DWARVES -

as the ball smashes into then, pulverizing them... It goes into a
reverse spin, passes through Invisible Boy's legs again, and returns to
the Bowler who is holding its bag open for it... The ball rolls in.

		BOWLER
	Good ball.

ON OUR HEROES, left absolutely speechless.

		BOWLER
	If it could zip up its own bag, then you'd be
	impressed, right?

She turns and walks out.  Our heroes share an amazed look, then run
after her...

JUST OUTSIDE THE GATE - ON THE BOWLER

walking away... as Furious catches up with her.

		FURIOUS
	Hey... Can I buy you a beer?

		BOWLER
	I thought you'd never ask.

She takes his arm and they all start to walk back into the Shoveler's
backyard... but the CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE STREET to the dark place
between two houses, where a MAN WEARING A STRANGE STEEL MASK with a
frightening, impassively powerful expression stands in the deep
shadows, watching them in motionless, predatory silence.  We do not
know who he is, and we cannot tell if he is good or evil.

BACK AT THE BARBECUE - A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON

A FADED OLD SNAPSHOT of the original "The Bowler" holding a little girl
in his arms.

		BOWLER (O.S.)
	He was more than just a superhero...  He was my
	father...

The others, touched by this, have gathered around the Bowler, who is
holding the old snapshot in her hand.

		BOWLER
	And then one day, he didn't come home.  The
	police said it was an accident.  But cargo
	containers don't just fall on people.  He was
	murdered... After that I fell apart.  I dropped
	out of school, became a mud wrestler, married
	and divorced a jerk.  When my mother died I hit
	bottom... but then, when I was cleaning out her
	attic, I found my father's old bowling bag and
	costume, almost like he'd left them there for
	me... and I knew what I had to do.

		SHOVELER
	So who killed him?

		BOWLER
	The Disco Boys.

		FURIOUS
	You know something? Those guys are really
	starting TO PISS ME OFF!

		SHOVELER
	But there's still only six of us.

		FURIOUS
	SO WHAT?

		BOWLER
	That's two more than the Fantastic Four.

		FURIOUS
	Half a Dirty Dozen!

		SPLEEN
	Twice the Three Stooges!

		INVISIBLE BOY
	And only one short of the Magnificent Seven.

		RAJA
	And you can't count Horst Buckholtz anyway.

		BOWLER
	He was cute though.

		RAJA
	But they all had one thing we haven't got.

		SPLEEN
	Girlfriends?

		RAJA
	A name.  All the great superhero teams have got
	a fabulous name.

They all think about it for a moment.  You can almost smell their
brains overheating.

		BOWLER
	How about... the Savage Six?

		RAJA
	The Inscrutable Six?

		SPLEEN
	The Six Pistols?

		SHOVELER
	The Exterminators!

		INVISIBLE BOY
	The Obliterators!

		RAJA
	The Eradicators!

		BOWLER
	The Emasculators!

		SPLEEN
	Wait--I got it!... The Spleen Team.

He gets beaned by a couple of empty soda cans.

		FURIOUS
	To hell with a name.  Let's get to work.

MUSIC UP as Furious stands and starts out.  The others stand and follow
him... as our heroes form up for their first HEROIC GROUP SHOT.

EXT.  CITY STREET - NIGHT

MUSIC CONTINUES as A LITTLE OLD LADY crosses the street, when suddenly
she looks up and sees a pair of headlights coming on fast.  An
immaculately maintained seventies limo is heading straight for her.

INSIDE THE LIMO - CONTINUOUS

Disco Boys sit in the front.  Casanova, Anabel, and Tony P sit in the
back, dressed for a night on the town...

There is a thud as the limo hits the old lady, and everyone in the car
explodes into laughter.

		TONY P
	Little old lady.  That's a hundred points!

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE LIMO - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as the limo drives past a billboard with an ad for "MILK" with a milk
mustached Captain Amazing looking at the camera...

		TONY P
	He knows your every move.

Tony P imitates a massive electrical convulsion, and the villains crack
up.

But as they pass the billboard, a pair of headlights illuminate in its
shadows, and the Shoveler's Ford Esquire pulls out and follows.

INSIDE THE ESQUIRE - CONTINUOUS

The Shoveler is driving.  Mister Furious sits in the front seat next to
him, and our other heroes are packed into the back.

		FURIOUS
	Let's say hello.

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE TWO CARS - CONTINUOUS

As the limo stops at a traffic light... and the Esquire pulls up
alongside it.  For a moment good and evil stare each other down.

		TONY P
	Not these guys again!

The Disco Boys howl with laughter.

		CASANOVA
	Nice car.

The D Boys laugh.  Furious stares at Casanova, and Casanova stares
right back at him, as cool as a snake.

		FURIOUS
	What did you do with Captain Amazing?

		CASANOVA
	Captain who?

		TONY P
		(spots the Bowler)
	Hey, in the backseat, who are you supposed to
	be, the Bowler?

		BOWLER
	I'm his daughter.

		TONY P
	His daughter?  Well guess what, sweetheart?
	I'm the one who squished your Daddy.  And he
	squished real good!

The villains laugh, and Mister Furious EXPLODES INTO RAGE.  He swings
open his car door, mashing it into the limo and leaving a big dent.

		TONY P
	HEY!

		FURIOUS
	'SCUSE ME!

He starts punching the limo like it's a punching bag--putting big dents
in it.

		TONY
	Waste him!

Tony and the boys all reach into their coats for their pistols--but as
they yank them out, the Spleen sticks his head out of the station
wagon, puts his face right up to the open window of the limo and lets
loose with a TREMENDOUS BELCH...

As the villains choke and gag in the noxious fumes, Mister Furious goes
on a DEMOLITION RAMPAGE, working his way around the limo, punching big
dents with his fists, breaking the windows with his head, flattening
the tires by kicking them, knocking off the rear view mirror with the
back of his hand...

Then he leaps up on top of the limo...

While inside the villains gasp for air as big dents are stomped into
the roof above them...

ANGLE THROUGH THE WINDSHEILD as Furious leaps down onto the hood, and
gazes in at them.

		FURIOUS
	Shall I check your oil?

He plunges his hand through the metal of the hood, pulls out the car's
dip stick, and checks it.

		FURIOUS
	Looks fine.

He tosses the dip stick away, then leaps off JUST AS Tony P gets off a
shot, EXPLODING the windshield of the limo.

Furious lands safely on the hood of the station wagon.  As the Shoveler
throws the Esquire into gear, Furious shouts...

		FURIOUS
	NICE CAR!

And our heroes streak off into the night... Casanova and the others
stagger out of the demolished limo, sucking in the clean air.

		CASANOVA
		(impressed by Furious)
	That boy's got talent.

		TONY P
	And I'm gonna nip it in the bud.

ANGLE ON A DARKENED ALLEY -

where the man in the strange steel mask can be seen... watching.

EXT.  A BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

A very typical, nondescript neighborhood place...

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes stand at the bar, celebrating their first victory.

		SHOVELER
	To us!

		RAJA
	Whatever our name is.

They toast and drink.

THE SAME - LATER

The Spleen is passed out at a table, snoring. Shoveler and Invisible
Boy sit next to him.

		SHOVELER
	Even his snores smell bad.

Raja and Bowler sit at the bar, deep in it.

		BOWLER
	But she's your mother.  You gotta tell her.

		RAJA
	I can't.

ON SHOVELER AND INVISIBLE BOY

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Dad thinks all this superhero stuff is a stupid
	waste of time.

		SHOVELER
	But he plays golf, right?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Yeah.

BACK ON RAJA AND BOWLER -

		RAJA
	I'm her only son, and she always had such high
	hopes for me. Medicine.  Law.

		BOWLER
	But you're a superhero.

		RAJA
	The cape.  The turban.  She wouldn't
	understand.

		BOWLER
	I know... My girlfriends all dumped me after I
	put on the mask.  They thought I'd lost it.

		RAJA
	But in fact... you'd found it.

They clink their glasses and drink.

BACK ON SHOVELER AND INVISIBLE BOY -

		SHOVELER
	This is your dream... and you can't ever give
	it up.

The Spleen makes weird noises in his sleep.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	I wonder what he dreams about?

		SHOVELER
	We don't want to know.

Mr. Furious sits alone in the corner, brooding, lost in his own angry
thoughts..

OUTSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

A black van drives slowly past the bar.

INSIDE THE VAN - CONTINUOUS

The van is packed with Disco Boys.  Tony P sits in the front seat.

		TONY P
	There.

HIS POV -

He has spotted the Ford Esquire parked in the lot.

BACK IN THE BAR - A LITTLE LATER

ON THE BOWLER AND RAJA -

		BOWLER
	It's late.  I'm headin' home.

		RAJA
	Me, too.

		BOWLER
		(to Invisible Boy)
	Come on, Junior, it's a school night.

JUST OUTSIDE - A MONENT LATER

As our heroes, carrying the Spleen, leave.

		FURIOUS
	Anybody up for a little White Castle?

But suddenly the world is a whirling sass of chains and clubs as they
are bushwhacked by the Disco Boys...

EXT.  AN ALLEY - A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

as he comes to with a qroan and sees... the Bowler and Invisible Boy
tied up and gagged, with the Raja, Shoveler, and the Spleen trussed up
right next to them.  Furious looks up, sees Tony P standing over him.

		TONY P
	Hi, cutie.

Furious struggles, but he has been secured with some very heavy tire
chains.  Tony P takes out a large caliber revolver, flips it open to
make sure it's loaded.

		TONY P
	Six losers. Six bullets. Perfect... Got any
	last words, Angry Boy?

		FURIOUS
	Disco sucks.

		TONY P
	Disco sucks.  Very good.  You know what I'm
	gonna do, Angry Boy, since you're so colorful?
	I'm gonna save you for last.

He turns and points the pistol right at Invisible Boy's head. Furious
struggles against his chains--to no avail.

		TONY P
	Sweet dreams, punk.

Invisible Boy closes his eyes... Tony P cocks the pistol... But
suddenly, there is the ring of steel--a broad blade sweeps through the
air, and Tony P's pistol is sliced neatly in half.

		TONY P
		(holding half a pistol)
	HOLY...

The man is the strange steel mask is standing there, the drawn machete
still in his hand.

		MAN IN MASK
	Buenos naches.

		TONY P
	Get him!

The Disco Boys rush the newcomer, but he slices through their baseball
bats with his machete, and sends them reeling and crashing into each
other with expert forearm blows, whacks with the flat of his blade, and
head butts with his mask.

Furious struggles to break free and join the fight, but the chains are
too strong... and the stranger doesn't need any help.

Tony P flicks open a big switchblade and lunges at the stranger, who
sidesteps him like a matador and swings his machete at him.  Tony P
turns, about to charge again.

		MAN IN MASK
		    (Mexican accent)
	Would you like me to trim the sides?

		TONY P
	What?

Tony P feels the top of his head, and realizes that the blow from the
machete has neatly sliced off the top his disco-do, leaving only
stubble on the top of his head.

		TONY P
		     	  (freaking out)
	LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

Tony and the Disco Boys run for it...

Furious and the others study their masked savior, who stands before
them, machete in hand.

		FURIOUS
	You're the Sphinx.

		SPHINX
	And you are a fool.

He raises his machete above Furious' head... and then slices clean
through the chains.

EXT.	AUTO DEMOLITION YARD - LATER THAT NIGHT

Our heroes have gathered around a scrap wood fire in a steel drum. They
sit on the ground and on old car seats, feeling like schmucks as the
Sphinx chews theu out, his mask looking very friqhtening and magical in
the flickering light.

		SPHINX
	You call yourselves superheroes? A rooster
	fights more intelligently than you!  You have
	shown yourself to your enemy and revealed your
	powers to him--and what have you accouplished
	for this?  You have destroyed his car.
	Brilliant!  If you want to survive you must
	fight like a wolf pack--not like a six pack!

Furious sulks, but the others get the point.

		SPHINX
	The wolf is cunning.  He knows that stealth is
	his greatest weapon, and he always fights as a
	team...
		(more)

		SPHINX (Cont'd)
		(at Furious)
	Not like some drunken Tejano on Saturday night.

Furious grunts.

		SPHINX
	Casanova Frankenstein is a a master of evil.
	You will need more than shovels and dessert
	forks to stop him... What else have you got?

They are silent.

		FURIOUS
		     (angrily)
	So what else has Superman got?

		SHOVELER
	He's got the fact that he's Superman!

		BOWLER
	Bullets bounce off him!

Furious sulks again, feeling that the others are turning against him.

		RAJA
	Firepower costs money.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Anybody got any?

A silence.

		SHOVELER
	We didn't think this through very well.

		BOWLER
		(after a moment)
	My father had this friend... He was an inventor...

EXT.  DOC HELLER'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

Our heroes stand looking at an old farubouse.  The place is an absolute
wreck.  It hasn't been painted in twenty-five years. Windows are
boarded up.  Half the shingles are gone.  There's visible fire damage
around the kitchen window.

		SHOVELER
	Are you sure he's still lives here?

		RAJA
	Are you sure he's still alive?

		BOWLER
	He was the last time I saw him.

		SHOVELER
	When was that?

		BOWLER
	I was eight.

She is about to knock, but the door is suddenly yanked open, and an
eighty year old guy is standing there.  He's got a wild head of white
hair (that looks like a living explosion), and he wears a stained old
lab coat with stickum mtssages to himself stuck to it, non-matching
slippers, and a pair of thick glasses with frames that have been
composited of half a dozen different old pairs all taped and welded
together into a fantastic concoction.  He is DOC HELLER.

		HELLER
	Yes!

		BOWLER
	Doctor Heller?

		HELLER
		(doesn't recognize her)
	Yes!

		BOWLER
	It's me... Elizabeth.

		HELLER
	Elizabeth!  Little Elizabeth!  Why you're so...
	middle aged!

		BOWLER
	Thanks.

		HELLER
	How's your dad?

		BOWLER
	He's dead.

		HELLER
	Oh that's right--they squished him...  Heck of
	a guy.

Furious throws a look at the Shoveler and Raja.  This guy's out of it.
They're wasting their time.

		BOWLER
	Doc, these are my friends.  We're superheroes,
	and we need your help.

		HELLER
	Well, I give to the United Way, and I feel that
	sort of covers--

		SPHINX
	Doctor, we need your weapons.

		HELLER
		    (ecstatic)
	My weapons? You need my weapons?

EXT.  BEHIND THE HOUSE - A MINUTE LATER - MOVING ANGLE

as Doctor Heller leads them all briskly across his overgrown yard
toward... the barn.

		HELLER
	The military establishment has never understood
	me.  They won't return my phone calls, much
	less field test anything.  But I knew that
	someday I'd get my chance, and now... here you
	are!
		   (pulls open the barn door)

INT.  THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

As our heroes step into Heller's laboratory/arsenal.  A stack of small
aluminum cans lines one wall.  There are weird lookinq sprayers, tubes,
and strange homemade toy-like devices... but there isn't a firearm in
sight.

		RAJA
	But, Doc... where's the machine guns?

		SHOVELER
	The bazookas?

		INVISIBLE BOY
	The lasers?

		HELLER
	You don't need that junk!  You see, for
	thousands of years mankind has been immolating,
	disemboweling, and exploding itself.  Why?
	Because we have this built-in screwed up need
	to go to war!
		(more)

		HELLER (Cont'd)
	So as a young man I thought, why nat have the
	fun and excitement of war, without all that
	unnecessary bloodshed.  That's why I have
	devoted my life to developing an arsenal of
	highly sophisticated non-lethal military
	weapons.
		(points to a hand held tube)
	Air cannons... Blame throwers... Feet seeking
	missiles... And perhaps my ultimate
	invention...
   		   (picks up one of the small cans)
	The canned tornado.

Furious groans, and the others share a look.  This guy's really a nut.

		HELLER
	Now here's a beauty!
		(picks up a purple and orange sprayer
		that looks like a suped up water gun)
	I call it the Shrinker!  I developed it after
	years of studying the worst dry cleaners I
	could find.  It instantly shrinks fabrics to
	half their size.  Anyone caught in its spray is
	immediately immobilized by their own clothing!

		FURIOUS
	Let's get out of here.

Furious turns and goes out, and the others start to follow. But the
Bowler picks up a canned tornado.

OUTSIDE THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

as Furious walks away, the Bowler steps out of the barn.

		BOWLER
	Hey, Mister Bad Mood.

Furious stops, turns back.

		BOWLER
		(pulls the ring on the can)
	Catch.

She tosses the can to him.  He catches it--just as a small angry
tornado FUNNELS out of the can.  It catches Furious and lifts him high
in the air... then dissipates to nothing...

A beat later Furious lands on the ground with a painful thump.

ON THE OTHERS, amazed.

Furious gets to his feet, unhurt, but really pissed off.  He starts
back toward the barn, violently kicking the empty can. The others get
out of his way, as, muttering angrily to himself, he goes back into the
barn...

And emerges a moment later, toting the air cannon.

		HELLER
	He's got the air cannon!

The others think he's going to use it on them and scatter for cover.
but Furious steps out into the yard, looking for a suitable target...
He sees an old abandoned outhouse, puts the air cannon to his shoulder,
aims, and fires...

There is a loud WHOOOOMPH of compressed air, and the huge recoil of the
cannon instantly flings Furious back against the wall of the barn.  But
the big rush of air hits the shed dead center... and BLOWS IT TO
PIECES, leaving only the old seat.

Furious gets up, dusts himself off, and moves to Doc Heller.

		FURIOUS
	Doc, you're a genius!
		     (hugs him)

		HELLER
	I know.

		FURIOUS
		(turns to the others)
	Okay! We got the firepower!  I say we throw it
	into the car, drive over to Casanova's house,
	and kick some ass!

		SPHINX
	No.

The others ignore Furious and listen to the Sphinx.

		SPHINX
	We are not yet ready.  Now we must learn to
	fight together... as one thing.

The others nod in agreemnt... while Furious fumes.

MONTAGE WITH MUSIC - TRAINING AT THE FARM

CLOSE ON DOC HELLER aiming his air cannon... CAMERA PULLS BACK TO
REVEAL our heroes (minus Furious) standing in a pack right behind him,
holding him down. HE fires, and the recoil jolts them all violently,
but it doesn't knock them over...

as half a dozen scarecrows are blown to pieces... Our heroes chieer and
shake their fists... while Mr. Furious sits alone on the sidelines,
drinking bourbon, and feeling very alienated.

VARIOUS SHOTS as our heroes learn to fight as a team... crawling across
the grass together....charginq in a line... hurling canned tornadoes...
while Furious sits it out, brooding, drinking, and getting very jealous
of the Sphinx.

Shoveler, Bowler, and the Sphinx stand shoulder to shoulder, as
Invisible Boy, Spleen, Raja, and the Doc throw small stones at them...
They deflect the pebbles with shovel, bowling ball, and machete...
Theyre having fun.  They're becoming a team...

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE BARN - EVENING

Furious drinks alone, while the rest of our heroes sit around an old
picnic table, feasting on sodas and pizza (like a football team after a
great practice.)  Raja explains the history of the situation to the
Sphinx.

		RAJA
	Twenty years ago all the major hoodlums of this
	city were united into one great brotherhood of
	evil, and Casanova was their king.

		SHOVELER
	Crime was rampant.  It wasn't safe to stay in
	your home.

		BOWLER
	Much less go outside.

		SHOVELER
	Then Captain Amazing appeared.

		RAJA
	He busted Casanova and sent the crooks packing.

		SHOVELER
	And this has been a pretty nice place to live
	ever since.

		FURIOUS
		    (pissed off)
	But now Casanova's back!  And we're gonna sit
	around here all night eating pizza and telling
	stories! Hey, lets toast some marshmellows!

		SPHINX
	The wise snake coils before he strikes.

		FURIOUS
		(lunges at the Sphinx)
	And a skunk stinks!

Furious and the Sphinx square off, their faces only inches apart.

		SPHINX
	You drink too much.

		FURIOUS
	When are you going to take off that mask?

		SPHINX
		    (pointedly)
	When I am sure I am among friends.

		RAJA
	Roy--

		FURIOUS
		(snapping at him)
	Go dance with your mother, Jeffrey!

ON THE RAJA, hurt.

		SPHINX
	Your rage is a very great power, but it blinds
	you to your heart.

		FURIOUS
	My heart died a long time ago.

		SPHINX
	It is not dead.  It is hiding.

		FURIOUS
	Blow it out your bean hole, Pancho!... And to
	hell with the rest of you!... Look at you.
	Bunch of rejects.  I didn't need you before--
	and I don't need you now!
		(jumps on to his motorcycle)
	The great ones RIDE ALONE!
		(kicks the engine started)
	Adios, muchachos!
		(and he rides off across the field)

ON THE OTHERS, watching him...

		BOWLER
	Has he always been like this?

EXT.  COUNTRY ROAD - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

the wind whipping against his face, as he rides his Harley at about a
hundred miles an hour... The languorous sound of an OLD DEAN MARTIN
SONG is heard as we...

FADE INTO:

MENORY SEQUENCE - DAY - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

as a little boy, sitting in the backseat of the family car. It is
thirty years ago, and Mister Furious is a sweet, very shy, well
behaved, perfectly normal three year old.  His MOTHER and FATHER sit in
the front.  Dean Martin is playing on the car radio.  Little Furious
looks out the window and sees the Mohave Desert going by.  A sign reads
"Las Vegas, 120 miles".

		MOTHER
		   (to husband)
	Oh this place looks great.

An old sign reads "BAR" as the family car pulls into the parking lot of
a single adobe building out in the middle of nowhere.  They park.

		MOTHER
	Now honey, you just wait in the car.  Mommy and
	Daddy will be right beck.

They get out, lock the car and head for the bar, leaving the windows
up.  Little Furious watches them go, never suspecting that his entire
life is about to change.  He sits quietly in the backseat and plays
with the little superhero figurines that he's brought with him.

		LITTLE FURIOUS
	Pow!  Bang!  Wham!

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

as the parents enter.  A very Western motif.  An old Gene Autrey song
is playing on the juke.  The air conditioning is on.	They're the only
customers in the place.

		MOTHER
	It's nice and cool in here.

		FATHER
		(as they sit at the bar)
	Barkeep, a couple of cold ones.

CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CAR AND BAR -

ANGLE ON THE MIDDAY SON - blazing down on the car...

as Little Furious still plays with his superheroes, but the interior is
starting to bake, and the sweat begins to pour ofr him.  He looks out
at the bar. gettinq worried.  He tries the windows, but they're
automatic and won't open...

Back in the bar his parents down shots of bourbon with their beers, as
the BARTENDER finishes telling them a joke.

		BARTENDER
	And here's a banana for your monkey.

Mom and Dad have a good laugh.

		BARTENDER
	Couple more?

		FATHER
	You bet.

ANGLE FROM OUTSIDE TUE CAR as Little Furious, sweat and tears pouring
out of him, his hair wet and sticking out (and starting to take on that
familiar look), pounds on the window.

		LITTLE FURIOUS
	Mommy!  Daddy!  Mommy!  Daddy!

as back in the bar his parents, now very drunk, down more beers and
chasers as they play a spirited game of pinball.

ANGLE ON THE MOHAVE SUN - beating down mercilessly

barely able to breath, Little Furious flops back onto the seat, his
face a mask of heat and terror... But suddenly, a change begins to take
place in him, as some primordial defense mechanism kicks in... and his
fear begins to give way to rage... His teeth bare.

CLOSE ON HIS HANDS -

as they CRUSH the superhero figurines in their grasp...

While back in the bar his drunken parents dance a slow two step to Hank
Williams "Your Cheatin' Heart"...

EXT.  TBE PARKING LOT - NIGHT - HANK WILLIAMS CONTINUES

as the big desert moon shines down on the family car, still parked
there.

INSIDE THE BAR - CONTINUOUS

The parents are asleep in a booth.  Furious' mother wakes up, looks
around groggily, and in a moment of horror suddenly remembers...

		MOTHER
	OH MY GOD!

THE PARKING LOT - A BEAT LATER

as she runs toward the car, hysterical.

		MOTHER
	Oh my God!  Oh my God!  Oh my God!

She unlocks the door, throws it open, and sees something that makes her
pull back in horror... Little Furious sits in the backseat.  His hair
sticks out wildly, his face has become that now familiar mask of
prisordial rage.  Another OLD DEAN MARTIN SONG is heard as we...

FADE INTO:

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT - CLOSE ON FURIOUS

sitting alone in the booth, a look of profound pain and lonliness on
his face; he is still that little boy.  The Dean Martin song is playing
on the juke.

		MONICA (0.S.)
	Hi.

He looks up and sees Monica.

		FURIOUS
	Hi.

		MONICA
	Alone tonight?

		FURIOUS
	Every night.

She smiles.

EXT.  THE FRANKENSTEIN MANSION - CONTINUOUS

Armed Disco Boys guard the front entrance...

While on the hillside above Invisible Boy (looking through binoculars)
and the Spleen lie together on their bellies in the weeds, keeping the
mansion under surveillance.

		SPLEEN
		  (in a whisper)
	Adolescence was the worst--The other kids made
	fun of me, so I'd spit on them and they'd
	scatter--I've never had a girlfriend--unless
	you count that night with my cousin--She
	recovered fully though--We exchange cards every
	Christmas--Well, I send her one, and she sends
	it back...
		(spritzes somathing into his mouth,
		then offers it to Invisible Boy)
	Bug repellent?

Suddenly, the gates of the mansion open and several sedans... followed
by a truck, drive out...

POV THROUGH BINOCULARS -

Casanova and Anabel sit in the front of the truck.

		INVISIBLE BOY (0.S.)
	Where are they going?

Invisible Boy hesitates for just a momnt, then gets up and runs down
the hill.

		SPLEEN
		(runs after him)
	Kid!

As the small convoy drives past, Invisible Boy slips out from behind
some trees, runs after the truck, jumps up and sits on its rear bumper.
The Spleen comes running after him, and Invisible Boy reaches out,
grabs his hand and pulls him up alongside him.  Invisible Boy tries the
rear gate.  It's open. The two of them pull it up just a foot, squirm
inside, then pull it closed behind them.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - CONTINUOUS

Invisible Boy flashes the light of his key chain flashlight around the
inside of the truck.  There is nothing in it, except for a large pile
of packing blankets.

EXT.  WATERFRONT AREA - NIGHT

as the convoy drives through Champion City's seedy waterfront area and
out onto a long pier.

INT.  THE DINER - NIGHT - CLOSE ON THE TV

Dawn Wong and Don Stouffer report the night's news.

		DAWN
	...still no sign of millionaire Lance Hunt, and
	now, in an unrelated story, another one of
	Champion City's leading citizens has apparently
	disappeared. Captain Amazing has not been seen
	or heard from in a week. Authorities believe
	that the hard working superhero may just be
	taking a well deserved rest.

		DON
	Cancun perhaps?

		DAWN
	Sounds good to me, Don.

Mr. Furious sits in the booth drinking coffee as Monica serves him his
burger and fries.

		FURIOUS
		   (floundering)
	Monica... I was wondering if--uh-maybe we--I
	mean you and I--could-uh--you know--get a--I
	mean have a...

		MONICA
	Date?

		FURIOUS
	Yeah.

		MONICA
	I get off work in fifteen minutes. Walk me
	home?

		FURIOUS
	Sure.

		MONICA
	That was easy.
		(goes back to work)

ON FURIOUS, feeling a whole lot better.

JUST OUTSIDE THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - UNKNOWN POV

from across the street.  Furious' head is clearly visible in the
brightly illuminated window of the diner.

A Disco Boy stands in the shadows, gazing at the diner; he recognizes
Furious.

EXT.  WATERFRONT - NIGHT

The convoy has pulled up alongside a rusty old freighter, docked at the
pier.

Casanova's men throw the gate of the truck open, and the CAMERA MOVES
IN.  No one is there, but we notice... two large lumps under the
packing blankets.

Casanova holds Anabel in his arms as they watch a large wooden crate
being lowered from the deck of the freighter.

		CASANOVA
	Honey, our ship's come in.

Casanova's cellular phone rings.

OUTSIDE THE DINER - CONTINUOUS

The Disco Boy is on his phone.  His pistol is drawn, and he's got it
aimed right at Furious' head.

		DISCO BOY
	Just give me the word.

BACK TO THE PIER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

		CASANOVA
		   (gets an idea)
	Wait.  I'll be right there.
		(hangs up, starts off)

		ANABEL
		     (peeved)
	Where are you going?

		CASANOVA
	Head hunting.

A minute later Casanova and two or three Disco Boys drive off in one of
the sedans... as the crate is loaded onto the truck, and the gate is
pulled closed... and locked.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - A MOMENT LATER

The engine starts up, and the truck starts to move, as Invisible Soy
and the Spleen poke their heads out from under the packing blankets...
They approach the crate and Invisible Boy shines his flashlight on it.
The crate is secured with rivets and thick metal bands; there's no way
they're going to be able to get inside it, but in the light of the
flashlight they see...

Faded red lettering, in Russian, and the distinctive old hammer and
sickle of the former Soviet Union.

EXT.  DIMLY LIT STREET - NIGHT

Furious walks Monica home.

		MONICA
	I admire you.

		FURIOUS
	Why?

		MONICA
	Being a superhero, wanting to save the world.
	It's so... unselfish.

		FURIOUS
	It is?

		MONICA
	Most people just want to make money or be
	famous or something.  But you risk everything,
	just to help people.

		FURIOUS
		(after a moment)
	I wouldn't mind being famous.

		MONICA
	Who wouldn't?

In the shadows behind them... Casanova follows, stalking them, as
silent as a vampire.

		MONICA
	I've never been able to figure out what to do
	with my life, which is why I guess I'm still a
	waitress.

		FURIOUS
	Nothing wrong with being a waitress.

		MONICA
	What's your real name?

		FURIOUS
	Roy.

		MONICA
	Have you always lived here?

He nods.

		MONICA
	Me too... I love this stupid old town.  It's
	noisy.  It's smelly. It's falling apart.

		FURIOUS
	It's home.

		MONICA
	Yeah.

CASANOVA'S POV

Monica, smiling, looking lovely.

CLOSE 0N CASANOVA; he wants her...

BACK ON FURIOUS AND MONICA -

		MONICA
	I've thought of leaving, going to Chicago or
	New York, but...

		FURIOUS
	What have they got that we ain't got?

		MONICA
	Champion's going to bounce back, and I want to
	be here when it does.

		FURIOUS
	Me, too.

		MONICA
	You don't seem very angry right now.

He shrugs.  And they kiss, very tenderly.

		MONICA
	You know what?  Underneath all that anger I
	think there's just a little boy who wants
	everyone to love him.

		FURIOUS
	I just want to be a superhero.

		MONICA
	That's what I mean... 'Night, Roy.

She turns and climbs the stairs of an old apartmnt building and goes
inside, as Furious watches, feeling emotions hees not used to. He
really likes her.  He starts walking back down the street, past a man
sitting on the stoop.  The man looks up.  It's Casanova Frankenstein.

		CASANOVA
	Going my way?

Furious is caught completely by surprise--he takes a stand, ready to
fight.

		CASANOVA
	Take it easy--take it easy.  I just want to
	have a little chat... That was quite a number
	you did on my car.  You've got a lot of
	violence in you... and I like that in a guy.

Furious, silent.

		CASANOVA
	You know what the difference is between good
	and evil, Roy?

Furious reacts to the fact that Casanova knows his real name.

		CASANOVA
	Evil is more fun.  When you want something, you
	just take it, and if somebody gets in your way,
	you kill them... You seem like a very
	frustrated guy, Roy.  Unhappy. Unfulfilled.
	What is it that you've always wanted, always
	desired?  Because whatever it is, I can give it
	to you... Fame?
		(snaps his fingers)
	Easy.  Fortune?  Even easier. Women?
		(laughs)
	The easiest of all.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS as, out of the corner of his eye, he catches movement
in the alley across the street... he knows what it is.

		CASANOVA
	I'll let you in on a little secret, Roy.  In
	two days this entire city will belong to me,
	and there's not a damn thing your little pals
	can do about it.  It's the perfect time to
	switch teams... So what do you say?

		FURIOUS
		     (quietly)
	You're nuts.

		CASANOVA
		(flairs)
	They always call the great ones nuts.

		FURIOUS
	And the nuts always call themselves great.

		CASANOVA
		(his psychosis showing)
	Are you with me... or against me?

		FURIOUS
	Against.

		CASANOVA
	Too bad.  PLUG HIM!

Gunfire rings out from the alley as the Disco Bays step out, their
pistols blazing.  But Furious has anticipated them.  He leaps right at
Casanova, pins his arms in a bear hug and holds him in the line of
fire.

		CASANOVA
	WAIT!

The Disco BQys stop firing... Furious drags Casanova back into an empty
lot, using him as a shield.

		FURIOUS
		   (to Casanova)
	Thanks for reminding me which team I'm on.

		CASANOVA
	You're dead.

		FURIOUS
	So are you!

Furious releases Casanova, then runs for it and leaps over the wooden
wall at the end of the lot... as the Disco Boys open fire again, and
their bullets punch holes through the wall...

Furious runs down a back street and escapes into the night.

EXT.  THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

The convoy drives up the hill toward an ominous looking structure (that
we recognize from the model on the TV interview with Casanova earlier.)
A high central tower rises up out of the half completed bulwarks of
featureless concrete. It looks both totally modern and completely
ancient, but a profound sense of evil connects both themes beautifully.

ANGLE ON a plaque that reads...  "Frankenstein Center for the
Performing and Non-performing Arts".

The gates of the center open, and the convoy passes through.

INSIDE THE TRUCK - A NONENT LATER

Invisible Boy and the Spleen stand listening, waiting, as they feel the
truck pull to a stop...

A moment later the gate is pulled opened... Anabel is there with
several thuggy looking SECURITY GUARDS.

		ANABEL
	Be careful with my baby.

There are two lumps under the packing blankets again.

EXT.  LOADING DOCK - A FEW MINUTES LATER

The crate is being carried away by a forklift... A beat, and then
Invisible Boy and the Spleen slip out of the empty truck...

And run down the road back toward the gates... which are still open.
They're just about to pass safely through them, when a PAIR OF ARMED
SECURITY GUARDS, step in their path, their guns pointed at thern.

		GUARD 1
	Freeze!

		GUARD 2
	Hands up!

They freeze, their hands held high.

		GUARD 2
	What are you two doing here?

Our heroes are mute.

		GUARD 1
	Not talking, eh?  That can be fixed.  Turn
	around, start walking up the hill--

		GUARD 2
	And no funny business.

Invisible Boy and the Spleen turn, hands in the air, and start up the
hill, the guards right behind them.

		SPLEEN
		(after a moment, to Invisible
		Boy, in a whisper)
	Pinch 'em.

Invisible Boy pinches his nostrils--and the Spleen lets out with a
horrendous fart.  The guards gag and choke violently in the fumes as
our heroes turn and run for it... escaping out the gates.

INT.  DOC KELLER'S LABORATORY/BARN - A LITTLE LATER

Invisible Boy and Spleen report to the others.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Whatever was in that crate... is from Russia.

The others consider this, then hear a familiar voice.

		FURIOUS (0.S.)
	Is there room in the pack for one more wolf?

They look up and see that Furious has just returned... The Sphinx moves
to him.  For a moment they stand face to face...

		FURIOUS
	I was wrong... I need my friends.

Sphinx takes off his mask, revealing that he is the busboy from the
Tacky Taco.

		SPHINX
	Amigo.

They embrace.

A few mimutes later.  The others are gathered around Furious, listening
to his story.

		FURIOUS
	Casanova said that in two days the entire city
	would belong to him... and there wasn't a thing
	that we could do about it.

		BOWLER
	What did he mean?

		FURIOUS
	I dunno.

Through the window the moon is seen rising over the hillside, the
Frankenstein Center silhouetted ominously against it. Raja, Shoveler,
and Furious gaze at it.

		SHOVELER
	Maybe it's time we checked that place out.

		RAJA
	But how do we get in?

		FURIOUS
	(after a moment, sounding very Sphinx-like)
	We just become like the wolf... who wears the
	sheep's clothing.

MONTAGE WITH MUSIC - THE NEXT DAY

CLASSIC DISCO ("Stayin' Alive" if we can get the rights)

Furious, Raja, and Shoveler (in street clothes) walk down the street
together and step into the doorway of... the Salvation Army Thrift
Shop...

Later.  CLOSE ON three pairs of legs, wearing polyester pants and
vintage shoes (ala the classic shot from "Saturday Night Fever")...
CAMERA WIDENS TO REVEAL our three heroes, dressed in full blown
seventies attire (with vintage sunglasses), doing their best Travolta
strut down the street...

MUSIC CONTINUES as our heroes strut their way through the gates of the
art center, right past the security guards...

OUTSIDE THE CENTER - DAY

They climb the long stairs toward the center, which looms above them...
then pass through the big wooden doors and into...

INT.  MAIN HALL - A MOMENT LATER

END MUSIC as our heroes move through a vast, but empty main hall... A
small army of heavily armed security guards marches about.

		RAJA
	So where's the art?

		FURIOUS
	He hasn't stolen it yet.

		SHOVELER
	This place is built like a fortress.

		FURIOUS
	Because thats what it is.

They hear a WILD BURST OF DRUNKEN LAUGHTER echoing through the hall.

		RAJA
	What's that?

		FURIOUS
		(following the sound)
	Come on.

They approach a doorway.  The noise is coming from within.

INT.  BANQUET IIALL - A MOMENT LATER

as our heroes step inside and see... A big luncheon is in progress.
Casanova, Anabel, and Tony P sit at the head table. The room is lined
with banquet tables, which are filled with VICIOUS LOOKING CHARACTERS,
drunk, eating, laughing, and giving the waitresses a very rough tim..

		RAJA
		    (stunned)
	Oh my God... Every crook in the city is here.

ON A GROUP OF VICIOUS LOOKING BALD BIKER TYPES...

		RAJA (O.S.)
	The Bone Heads from the South Side...

ON THREE INSIPIDLY EVIL LOOKING GUYS in hip suits...

		RAJA (O.S.)
	The Bland Boys from Downtown...

ON A DARK HAIRED WHITE GUY dressed as a rapper...

		RAJA (O.S.)
	Italian Ice...

ON A GUY with a frightening assortment of metal things piercing his
face...

		RAJA (O.S.)
	The Stapler...

ON TWO THUGS DRESSED AS ELVIS...

		RAJA (0.S.)
	The Elvis Brothers.

A more degenerate group of criminals never sat down to lunch. Furious
recognizes one of the waitresses...   It's Monica.

Casanova's got his eye on her, too, and he remembers her from the night
before on the street with Furious.

ON ANABEL, noticing his interest.

Our heroes see Monica walking straight toward them. They turn away,
lean against a wail, trying to be totally inconspicuous...

But as she passes them, not noticing them... Casanova approaches her.

		CASANOVA
	Excuse me.

She stops, turns to him, while our heroes listen in, only a few feet
away...

		CASANOVA
		(reading her name tag)
	Monica... Beautiful name.  It suits you.

CLOSE ON FURIOUS, getting jealous.

		CASANOVA
	I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I
	couldn't help but notice... that you're a dead
	ringer for Veronica Lake in "The Blue Dahlia".

		MONICA
	Really?

Furious growls.  Raja gives him an elbow.

		CASANOVA
	Are you an actress?

		MONICA
	Just a waitress.

		CASANOVA
	You underestimate yourself.

Mister Furious is fuming.  The strands of his perfectly coiffed disco-
do start to stand straight up.

		CASANOVA
	You know I'm writing a play--it's just a little
	Broadway thing, but thure's a part in it that I
	think you'd be perfect for.

		MONICA
	Really?

		CASANOVA
	I'd love to hear you read it. Could you stick
	around after the luncheon?

		MONICA
	Sure--I guess.

		CASANOVA
	Terrific.

She turns and walks into the kitchen.

CLOSE ON CASANOVA, watching her; his intentions are sinister...  He
turns and sees... our heroes, hanging by the wall.

		CASANOVA
	What are you three doing here? This is invited
	guests only.  Out.

Our heroes skulk out.

JUST OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes step out and breathe a sigh of relief.

		RAJA
	That was too close.

		SHOVELER
	But we gotta find out what's going on in there.

		FURIOUS
	Hey.

Furious has spotted... a large covered dessert table, waiting to be
wheeled into the hall.

BACK IN THE BANQUET HALL - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as the dessert table is wheeled in... and in a CLOSER ANGLE, under the
table cloth, we see three pairs of disco shoes creeping along...

A few minutes later, Monica steps up to the dessert table... Suddenly,
she is yanked under.

UNDER THE TABLE - CONTINUOUS

Monica struggles, tries to cry out, but a hand is clamped firmly over
her mouth.

		FURIOUS
	It's me.

She calms down, and he takes his hand off her mouth.

		MONICA
	What are you guys doing here?

		  RAJA & SHOVELER
	Shhhh!

The waitresses leave; the big doors to the dining room are swung
closed, and the cigars are lit.  The meeting has begun. Casanova takes
the podium.

		CASANOVA
	Thank you all for coming.  I hope you enjoy the
	cigars.  I had to kill a dozen Cubans to get
	them.

Tony P chuckles loudly, but the joke goes over like a lead balloon with
the rest of the crowd.

		CASANOVA
	Twenty years ago, this town was yours!  AND I
	WAS YOUR KING!

ON THE HOODS, listening, bored, puffing on their cigars; this is a sad
old story.

		CASANOVA
		    (tragically)
	But they called me a psycho, and they put me
	away.  For twenty years I rotted in my cell,
	painting watercolors, writing haikus--just
	waiting for the day I could take my revenge.
	Well, brothers, that day has come!

ON OUR HEROES under the table, listening.  Monica begins to realize
what's going on.

BACK TO CASANOVA -

		CASANOVA
	They thought I was crazy? Well the joke's on
	them--because tonight at precisely midnight--on
	the twentieth anniversary of my tragic arrest--
	every man, woman, and child in this city is
	going to turn into a RAVING PSYCSOTIC!  Mothers
	will murder their tots!  Old ladies will
	strangle their cats!  Children will bump off
	their babysitters!

The guests think Casanova's completely lost it.  Italian Ice speaks up.

		ITALIAN ICE
	You're outta your mind!

		CASANOVA
	I beg your pardon?

		ITALIAN ICE
	Nobody could drive a whole city crazy.

		CASANOVA
	Tell you what, Ice.  I'll mke you a friendly
	little wager.  It I can't do it... you can blow
	my brains out.  If I can, I'll blow out yours.

Now the hoods' interest has been perked.

		ITALIAN ICE
	Done.

		CASANOVA
		(to Anabel, with a smile)
	Honey, give the boys a taste.

Anabel puts on a pair of heavy duty sound deadening ear protectors,
then presses a button on a small remote control device.

ANGLE ON A SPEAKER, placed above the podium... as the air is suddenly
filled with a weird, stridulating, HORRIFIC NOISE (somewhere between
the sound of a fire siren and a hornet trapped in your ear) and
everyone in the room (except Anabel) goes COMPLETELY BERSERK...

CAMERA PANS the tables as the guests laugh dementedly, punching,
gouging, strangling, and stabbing each other...

Under the serving table our heroes go crazy...

Casanova, in a state of psychotic ecstasy, whips out his pistol and
empties it into Italian Ice... who drops to the floor, dead.

Anabel presses the button again; the sound winds down and stops, and
everything returns to normal.  The entire event lasted only a few
seconds, but the guests are dazzled.

		CROOKS
	That was great!... What the hell was that?...
	How did you do that?

Casanova throws Anabel a kiss.

		CASANOVA
	Tonight, at midnight, that sound will be
	amplified across this entire city.  Murder and
	mayhem will reign supreme!  And Champion City
	will be ours again!  This will be our castle!
	And I will be our king!  And there's no one to
	stop us!

Suddenly, a familiar voice is heard.

		AMAZING (O.S.)
	Not so fast, Casanova!

A pair of curtains suddenly part... and Captain Amazing (looking a bit
singed) is standing there in classic superhero pose.

CAMERA PANS the crooks, as their criminal ecstasy turns instantly to
terror.  They yank out their pistols, dive for cover under the table,
throw up their hands in surrender, etc... But Casanova just grins.

		CASANOVA
	Don't worry, fellas...
		(moves to Captain Amazing, and
	puts his arm chummily around him)
	I killed him... and I've had him stuffed.

Casaova reaches behind Captain Amazing's back and pulls a string (like
the ones they used to have on those old talking dolls).

		AMAZING
		(in a canned voice)
	Isn't my butt cute in these tights?
		   (pulls again)
	Blue is my color.
		   (pulls again)
	Oh, my abs are killing me!

The crooks are beside themselves with laughter.

ON OUR HEROES, under the table, stunned.

ON THE ELVIS BROTHERS -

		ELVIS BROTHER I
	The King is back!

		ELVIS BROTHER 2
	Long live the King!

The crooks fire their pistols exuberantly into the air, as disco music
fills the air and Casanova dances, basking in their adoration...

And our heroes slip out from under the table and make good their
escape...

INT.  DOC HELLER'S BARN/LAB - LATER

Our heroes and Monica pow-wow, sobered by what they have seen.

		MONICA
	What could have made such a horrible noise?

		HELLER
		  (after a moment, gravely)
	He's got the Psychostridulator.

		ALL
	The what?

		HELLER
	Ten years ago the Kremlin's top secret
	Psychiatric Warfare Division developed a
	prototype for a weapon that emitted a
	fluctuating alternative frequency noise that
	produced a violent psychotic reaction in any
	mammal within hearing distance.  But when the
	old Soviet Union fell the stridulator and its
	brilliant inventor, Doctor Kopov, disappeared.

		SHOVELER
	This Kopov, what happened to him?

		HELLER
	Not him... her.

They react to that piece of news, and then the Bowler opens up the
newspaper.

		BOWLER
	Did she look like that?

CLOSE ON A PHOTO of Anabel and Casanova, announcing their wedding
engagement.

		HELLER
	Yes.

Silence; this is bad.

		SPLEEN
		    (hopefully)
	Maybe it won't work.

		FURIOUS
	It works.

		HELLER
	A village in Siberia was wiped out when a
	cleaning woman switched it on by mistake.

Another grim silence, as they realize how desperate the situation is.
For the first time, they're really scared.

		MONICA
	We've got to warn the city.

		SHOVELER
	How?

		RAJA
	No one will believe us.

		BOWLER
	They'll think we're just a bunch of weirdoes.

CAMERA CUTS BETWEEN THEM as they look at each other--their frightened
faces, their sad, faded costuznes.  Even the Sphinx looks scared.

		FURIOUS
		   (after a moment, grimly)
	We know what we gotta do.

They look at him.

		RAJA
	We're outnumbered twenty to one.

		SHOVELER
	It's suicide.

		FURIOUS
	Maybe.  But this isn't about living or dying.
	It's about good versus evil, and we're good,
	whether we like it or not... Maybe we look a
	little funny...

ON THE SPLEEN...

		FURIOUS
	And smell a little funny.  We're not
	bulletproof and we can't fly. But we're
	superheroes--and that means doing what's right-
	-even when it's impossible... This is our city-
	-these are our friends, our famlies--and if we
	don't save them, nobody will!  So I say we take
	a ride up that hill, blast our way in there,
	destroy that Psycho-whatchamabob-- and teach
	those deviants a lesson they'll never forget!

		SPHINX
	Now you're talking.

		BOWLER
	Sounds good to me.

		RAJA
	Let's do it.

		SHOVELER
	And we'll take a bunch of 'em with us!

They're all with him.  Monica steps forward.

		MONICA
	I just want you guys to know--I may not be a
	superhero, but I'm with you--and I want to
	help!

		ALL
	Oh that's great... Thanks, Monica...  (Etc.)

		BOWLER
	We could really use some coffee--

		SHOVELER
	And some sandwiches--

		SPLEEN
	With mustard!

		MONICA
		(her feelings a little hurt)
	Sure.

A few minutes later, Monica serves sandwiches and coffee as our heroes
plan...

		RAJA
	But that place is huge and we don't know where
	this psycho thing is--

		BOWLER
	Or even what it looks like.

		HELLER
	And he must have it well hidden.

		FURIOUS
	We'll just have to get lucky.

ON MONICA as she gets an idea.  A moment later she slips a canned
tornado into her purse... as the others put their arms around each
other in a group huddle\embrace.

		FURIOUS
	Go do what you gotta do.  We'll meet back here
	at sunset... Do or die.

		ALL
	Do or die.

		SPHINX
	Victoria o morte.

HEROIC MUSIC as...

EXT.  AUTO DEMOLITION YARD - DAY - CLOSE ANGLE ON

THE FRONT GRILL of the Herkimer Battle Jitney... as Mister Furious
hooks it up to the "Sally's Auto Demolition" tow truck... A moment
later he drives the tow truck, towing the off the lot, as Sally steps
out of her office, pissed off...

		SALLY
	HEY!

EXT.  HELLER'S FARM - DAY

ON THE SPHINX, standing as immobile and silent as a statue... as a
falling leaf slowly flutters down in front of him... In a flash, his
machete slices through the air, and the leaf continues fluttering down,
but in two pieces...

INT.  LABORATORY/BARN - DAY

Doc Heller fine tunes his Shrinker spray... as the Bowler sits quietly
in the hayloft, studying the old dog eared photo of her father and
herself as a little girl...

INT.  INVISIBLE BOY'S ROOM - DAY

Invisible Boy stands in front of his mirror, eyes closed, concentrating
for all he's worth, trying to become invisible...  He suddenly pops
opens his eyes and looks at himuself in the mirror... but he's still
completely visible. He flops onto his bed in frustration.

INT.  THE DINER - DAY

CLOSE ON A TABLE full of food... Eggplant Parmesan, broccoli, chili...
CAKERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL the Spleen sitting alone in the booth,
stuffing his face, gassing up for battle.

INT.  THE SHOVELER'S HOUSE - DAY

The Shoveler, standing in his bedroom, has just put on his freshly
laundered suit.  CAMERA OPENS WIDE TO REVEAL Lucille, his wife,
standing there, holding his just polished shovel. He takes it from her,
then takes her in his arms.

		SHOVELER
	Baby, if I don't make it... find yourself... a
	normal guy.

		LUCILLE
	I don't want a normal guy.

And they kiss.

A few minutes later... In the living room the Shoveler's kids lie
sprawled in front of the television.  The Shoveler, in battle array,
steps into the room.  Be wants to say something to them, but the kids
don't even take their eyes off the TV look at him... He turns and walks
out in silence.

END MUSIC...

INT.  THE RAJA'S DINING ROOM - DAY

The shades are drawn.  The Raja, in full costume, quietly loads
silverware into the secret pockets of his cape. Suddenly, the light
switches on... It's his mother.  She's caught him red handed.

		MOTHER
	Jeffrey, YOU THIEF!

		RAJA
	Mother... it's not what you think!

		MOTHER
	And why are you wearing that silly costume?

		RAJA
		   (painfully)
	Because... I'M A SUPERHERO!

ON HIS MOTHER, shocked.

		RAJA
	Oh, Mother, I'm sorry.  I know how much you
	wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer with a
	family--but it's just not who I am!

		MOTHER
	But... the silverware?

		RAJA
	I use it... to fight evil.

		MOTHER
		(after a moment)
	Jeffrey... this is wonderful.

		RAJA
		    (stunned)
	It is?

		MOTHER
	I always knew that you were special.

		RAJA
	You did?

		MOTHER
	Ever since you were a little boy...
		(gets an idea, excited)
	Come with me.

INT.  UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - A MOMENT LATER

She pulls down the stairway to the attic...

INT.  THE ATTIC - A MOMENT LATER

She switches on the light and leads the Raja to a far corner...  where
she moves a couple of old hat boxes, REVEALING an ancient leather bound
box with the word "Excalibur" engraved in gold on the top.

		MOTHER
	This is for you.

The Raja opens the box and registers astonisha~nt as he sees...

A FABULOUS VICTORIAN SILVER SET packed with formidable looking servers,
cake knives, ice cream forks.

		MOTHER
	Your Great Great Grandmother's wedding silver.

The Raja lifts up and handles a large heavily engraved pie server.

		RAJA
	Bitchin'.

EXT.  OUTSIDE HELLER'S BARN/LAB - EVENING - CLOSE ON

Mister Furious, wrench in hand, covered with grease and oil, cussing to
himself as he works under the hood of the Herkimer.

		FURIOUS
	Try it again!

Invisible Boy, sitting behind the wheel, tries the ignition of the
Herkimer, and the old engine grinds as it turns over, but doesn't
catch.

		FURIOUS
	Come on, baby... Come on, baby... I SAID COME
	ON!

Mister Furious SLUGS the engine with his fist, and it sputters and
backfires into life... shaking, rattling, leaking, exploding, but
running... Furious kisses the Herkimer... as the Bowler calls out to
him from the barn.

		BOWLER
	Mon Capitan, it's for you.
		(tosses him the phone)

		FURIOUS
	Hello?

EXT.  UNKNOWN LOCATION - EVENING - CLOSE ON MONICA

		MONICA
		(on a phone, speaking very softly)
	It's me.

BACK TO FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

		FURIOUS
	Monica, where are you?

BACK TO MONICA - WIDER ANGLE

REVEALING that she is on a pay phone just outside the art center.
She's wearing make-up and a sexy little dress; she looks she's dressed
for a date.  Disco Boys and security guards go about their business all
around her.

		MONICA
	At the Frankenstein Center.

CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THEM -

		FURIOUS
	Are you nuts?  Get out of there!

		MONICA
	I'm going inside.

		FURIOUS
	What are you talking about?

		MONICA
	Listen, Casanova may be a supervillain, but
	he's got a weakness, and I'm it.  Maybe--just
	maybe--I can trick him into showing me the
	location of the whatchamathing.

		FURIOUS
	He's a psycho!  He'll kill you!

		MONICA
	Just shut up and listen.  Hold off the attack
	as long as you can.  If I can discover the
	location I'll call you--

		FURIOUS
	And what if you get killed?

		MONICA
	Then at least I will have died trying, right?

Furious silent, taken aback by her courage.

		MONICA
	Roy... We might never see each other again, so
	I'd better tell you now...  I think you're
	wonderful.

		FURIOUS
		(caught completely off guard)
	What?

		MONICA
	Bye.
		(and she hangs up)

		FURIOUS
	Monica!

INT.  LOBBY OF THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as Monica approaches a GUARD standing by the main door.

		MONICA
	Could you tell Mr. Frankenstein that Monica is
	here?

		GUARD
	Sure, doll.

BACK TO THE BARN - CONTINUOUS

Furious stands by the Herkimer, phone still in hand.  He seems
speechless, dazed.  Something inside him has changed.

		BOWLER
		(worried about him)
	Hey... you okay?

		FURIOUS
	Sure.

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - A FEW MINUTES LATER

Casanova steps out and sees... Monica, looking very sexy.

		MONICA
	Hi.

		CASANOVA
	I thought you'd chickened out on me.

		MONICA
	Just wanted to... powder my nose.

His eyes roam all over her; he knows she's up to something, but she
looks yummy, and this is just the sort of cat and mouse game he loves.

		MONICA
	How 'bout giving me "the tour"?

		CASANOVA
	Why not?

EXT.  COURTYARD - A FEW MINUTES LATER

as Casanova leads Monica across an open courtyard toward... the sheer
walls of the imposing central tower.

		CASANOVA
	Big, isn't it?

He leads her to a massive archway, the only apparent entrance to the
tower.  But just as she is about to pass through, Monica looks up and
sees something that makes her pull back with fear...

HER POV -

A very sinister looking SECURITY EYE gazes down at her from the top of
the archway.

		CASANOVA
	Don't worry.  It's not activated.

They pass through and into...

INT.  ROOM IN THE BASE OF TOWER - CONTINUOUS

which is filled with IMMENSE BRONZE SCULPTURES of voluptuous, scantily
clad females in various poses of bondage.  Monica reacts; these things
are scary.

		MONICA
	Who's the artist?

		CASANOVA
	Me.

EXT.  THE BARN/LAB - NIGHT

The Bowler, Spleen, Invisible Boy, and Doc Heller load up the Herkimer
with Heller's weaponry...

as Mister Furious lies sprawled on the hillside... breathing in the
night air, contemplating a dandelion gone to seed, and listening to the
sounds of the night.  The Raja, Shoveler, and Sphinx, stand nearby,
watching, trying to figure out what's wrong with him.  A whippoorwill
is heard singing.

		FURIOUS
	Listen.  He's lonely... and he doesn't care who
	knows it.

Raja and Shoveler share a bewildered look.  The bird sings again.

		FURIOUS
	We're all the same really.  Our songs, our
	dreams, our seeds are all just a brave attempt
	to live forever.
		(blows the dandelion seeds into the wind)

		SPHINX
	He is in love.  His anger is gone.

		RAJA
	Oh no.

		SHOVELER
	Great timing!

		FURIOUS
	Has Monica called?

INT.  TOP OF THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova leads Monica into... a palatial room, filled with priceless
objects d'art, all of which reflect Casanova's dark psyche.  A Munch
painting.  Mayan idols.  Weird German furniture.  A huge glass
chandelier hovers over the room.  A massive bronze sculpture of a wolf
(done in the same style as the other sculptures) is perched in the
balcony.  It seems to be howling out over the city which is seen in a
spectacular view, spread out alonq the lakeshore below.

		CASANOVA
	This is where I come to... be alone.

He turns down the lights and quietly closes and locks the big door to
the room.

CLOSE ON MONICA, sensing her danger.

		MONICA
	Oh, look at that view.

She moves out onto the balcony... as Casanova slips the gold chain from
around his neck and follows her.

INT.  BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes have gathered around Furious, who sits in a chair, getting
the third degree.

		HELLER
	Snap out of it!

		BOWLER
	Get on to yourself!

		SHOVELER
		(shouting right in his face)
	GET MAD!

		FURIOUS
	But I just don't feel it.

		RAJA
	He's turned into a completely normal person!

		FURIOUS
	Normal.  What's normal?  Does normal exist?
	And if it did, how would we know it?

The Shoveler slugs him, sending him sprawling.

		FURIOUS
	You know, Eddie, that was really uncalled for.

EXT.  BALCONY ON FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - ON MONICA

gazing out onto the city, as she senses Casanova slinking up behind
her.

		MONICA
	I'm chilly.

She turns, elegantly avoiding him, and moving back inside.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Spleen holds up Furious' favorite sunglasses.

		SPLEEN
	Look!  Your favorite sunglasses!
		(snaps them in two)

		BOWLER
	Your Roy Rogers coffee mug!
		(hurls it against the wall)

		SHOVELER
	Your Spiderman Pez dispenser!
		    (breaks the head off it)

		FURIOUS
	Okay, you win.  I'm pissed off. I'm seriously
	peeved.

The others groan with frustration.

BACK AT THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Monica moves nervously around the room as Casanova sprawls languorously
on the bed, toying with his gold chain.

		CASANOVA
	Come here.

		MONICA
	I'm not that kind of girl.

		CASANOVA
	Then why are you here?

		MONICA
	Curiosity.

		CASANOVA
		   (with a smile)
	Remember the cat.

Suddenly, he hears high heels in the hall.  A key is put in the lock--
Casanova leaps off the bed, grabs Monica and roughly shoves her into
the closet.  He leaps back onto the bed, just as the door opens, and
Anabel, dressed in a lab coat (and wearing high heels) enters.
Casanova is completely relaxed, nonchalant.

		ANABEL
	What are you doing all alone in the dark?

		CASANOVA
	Fantasizing... about you.

She crosses the room to the wolf sculpture.

		CASANOVA
	I thought you were done?

		ANABEL
	One last tweak.

She opens a secret panel on its back, REVEALNG a FLASHING HIGH TECH
INTERIOR... and Monica, watching from the closet, realizes that she has
found the Psychostridulator.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON

a boom box... A CD jacket tells us that "Kenny G." is playing...

		RAJA
	If this doesn't do it, nothing will!

ON FURIOUS, a pair of headphones on his head.  The music is so loud
that we can hear it even though it's being played only through the
headphones.

ON THE OTHERS, gathered around him, waiting to see if this will work.
And then Furious begins to respond... as his face turns into a
contorted grimace.

		BOWLER
	It's working!

Furious groans and writhes... The others are thrilled; they've done it!

		FURIOUS
	This music is just SO BEAUTIFUL!

He starts to weep.  The others give a collective groan of defeat.

BACK AT THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - COHTINUOUS

as Anabel works on the Psychostridulator, Monica looks at a clock...
which reads almost eleven.  Time is running out.

BACK TO THE BARN/LAB - CLOSE ON SHOVELER'S WRISTWATCH

which also reads eleven.

0N SHOVELER AND RAJA -

		SHOVELER
	It's time.

		RAJA
	With or without him, we gotta go!

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER -

as Anabel closes up the wolf... and starts to leave.

		ANABEL
	Our guests are waiting.

		CASANOVA
	I'll be down in a jiffy.

She goes out.  Casanova listens as the sound of high heels fades away,
then he goes to the closet and lets Monica out.

		MONICA
	I'd better go.

		CASANOVA
	You're a spy.

		MONICA
		    (offguard)
	What?

		CASANOVA
	I saw him walk you home.

		MONICA
	Who?

		CASANOVA
	Roy.

She makes a sudden try for the door, but he blocks her way, a cold look
in his eye that makes her step back in fear.

		CASANOVA
	Don't be afraid... I never hit a lady...

He lets the gold chain drop loose in his hand, then starts coming for
her, a sadistic grin on his face.  This is the real Casanova.

Monica pulls back, then reaches into her purse and takes out A CANNED
TORNADO, which she holds out threateningly.

		MONICA
	Stay away!

		CASANOVA
	Or you'll what?  CAN ME?

He laughs dementedly as Monica pops open the can and A SWIRLING FUNNEL
OF AIR SHOOTS OUT OF IT and ENGULFS Casanova, throwing him across the
room... Monica grabs the handset of a cordless phone and runs out the
door.

ON CASANOVA, pulling himself together.

		CASANOVA
	That bitch!

INT.  CORRIDOR JUST OUTSIDE - CONTINUOUS

as Monica runs for it, dialing the phone on the fly...

INT.  TEE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS - ON THE PUONE

ringing... but no one is there...

EXT.  THE BARN/LAB - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes are climbing into the Herkimar, whose noisy idling engine
obliterates the ringing of the phone.

		FURIOUS
	But she still might call!

		SHOVELER
	Are you coming or not?

		FURIOUS
	I'll drive.

		SHOVELER
	Not a chance!

He shoves him in the back, closing the heavy steel door behind him.

BACK TO THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON MONICA

hiding behind a large planter... listening to the phone ringing on the
other end.

		MONICA
	Come on, guys... Pick up...

Suddenly, we hear Casanova's voice on the line.

		CASANOVA'S VOICE
	What's the matter...

BACK IN THE TOWER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Casanova is listening in on another phone.

		CASANOVA
	Nobody home?

BACK TO M0NICA - CONTINUOUS

as she moves quickly down the hall.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

The Shoveler is at the wheel.  The Raja sits in the passenger seat.
The others are in the back.

		SHOVELER
	Here we go!

He forces the stick into gear and the Herkimer lurches forward.

		SHOVELER
	We've got lift off!

		RAJA
	May the forks be with us!

EXT.  DOC HELLER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer--backfiring, smoking, clanging--rumbles down the
driveway into action.

BACK IN THE HERKINER - CONTINUOUS

Shoveler tries to put the car in second gear, but it won't go. He yanks
and pulls and struggles, until the stick comes off in his hand.

		RAJA
	First is good.

INT.  CORRIDOR IN FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova instructs three security guards.

		CASANOVA
	I want her alive.

		GUARDS
	Yes, Mr. Frankenstein.

CAMERA PANS UP the top of a staircase... where Monica is crouched,
listening.

EXT.  STREETS OF CHAMPION CITY - NIGHT

VARIOUS SHOTS as the Herkimer rumbles and smokes down Champion's main
street (in first gear) and the citizens step out of houses and bars to
watch this bizarre sight.

ON A LITTLE BOY AND HIS FATHER -

		LITTLE BOY
	Daddy, what is that thing?

		FATHER
	I don't know, son.

A couple of GRIZZLED CHARACTERS stand in front of a bar.

		DRUNK
	A Herkimer?  Those yuppies will drive anything.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

ON FURIOUS AND THE OTHERS in the back.

		SPHINX
	Amigo, we need you.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Just GET MAD!

Furious closes his eyes and tries, but it's hopeless.

INT.  V.I.P. LOUNGE IN FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

A sumptuous, hotel-like lounge.  Anabel is holding court with all of
top crooks from the luncheon, charrning the pants off them... Casanova
slithers up behind her.

		CASANOVA
	Fellas, this is woman without whom I would have
	gone sane.
		(kisses her neck)

EXT.  FRONT GATE OF THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - CONTINUOUS

A pair of security guards (the same two who got gassed by the Spleen)
are on duty, when they see... a strange looking vehicle chugging up the
hill straight for them.

		GUARD 1
	What the hell is that?

		GUARD 2
	Looks like... a Ford Dumpster.

They have a good laugh at it, then hold up their hands for it to
stop...  But the Herkimer just rolls past them, hitting the iron gates
and snapping them open as if they were made of match sticks.

		GUARDS
	HEY!

They open fire.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

Bullets are heard pinging off the Herk as THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD just
ahead we see the long stairway heading up to the front door of the art
center.

		SHOVELER
	Hang on!

EXT.  ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

Several more guards open fire, as the Herkimer hits the stairs and
starts bouncing up them...

BACK AT THE LOUNGE - ON CASANOVA

checking his watch.

		CASANOVA
	It's showtime.

But then they all hear... the sound of gunfire.

		TONY P
	What's that?

BACK ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer chugs and bounces... toward the entrance of the center.

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes get bounced all over the place.

INT.  JUST INSIDE THE CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as guards close and bolt the big wooden doors to the art center.

ON A GUARD wearing a headset.

		GUARD
	Mr. Frankenstein, we're being attacked.

INT.  SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS

Casanova sits at a security console.  Anabel, Tony P, and the top
crooks stand behind him, listening.

		CASANOVA
	By whom?

		VOICE OF GUARD
	We don't know!

BACK ON THE STAIRS - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer climbs to the top, then rams into the doors with a
thud.  But the doors hold.

BACK ON THE VILLAINS -

		TONY P
	They'll never get through those doors.

BACK AT THE FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS

But the plucky little Herkimer digs in its rear wheels and pushes
against the doors like the Little Engine That Could...

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes encourage the Herk.

		SHOVELER
	Come on, baby!

		BOWLER
	Do it, big boy!

ON ITS WHEELS, grinding, chewing up the concrete...

JUST INSIDE THE CENTER - CONTINUOUS

as the Herkimer comes crunching through the big wooden doors of the
center, scattering the guards.

BACK INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

our heroes cheer, pat the Herk.

		SHOVELER
	Atta, girl!

		BOWLER
	Atta, boy!

BACK TO CASANOVA -

watching on a security monitor

		VOICE OF GUARD
	Mr. Frankenstein, they're in!

		CASANOVA
	Well kill them.

BACK IN THE HALL - CONTINUOUS

The Herkimer drives into the main hall of the center as a small army of
security guards swarms in, guns blazing.

BACK AT THE SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS

Casanova and the crooks watch the security monitor...

INSIDE THE HERKIMER - CONTINUOUS

The bullets sound like hailstones bouncing off the armor of the Herk as
our heroes grimly prepare themselves for battle...The Sphinxs puts on
his mask... the Bowler unzips her bag...Doc Heller cocks his air
cannon... Spleen and Invisible Boy load a bag with canned tornadoes...
While Mister Furious watches anxiously.

The Shoveler drives intently, bullets splattering like bugs on the
windshield.

		SHOVELER
	Where am I going?

		RAJA
		(pointing to an archway on the
		other side of the hall)
	Through there!

		SHOVELER
	Right.

But suddenly something under the hood blows up; the engine gives a long
groan, and the Herkimer rolls to a dead stop...

INSIDE/OUTSIDE THE HERIKINER - CONTINUOUS

Right in the middle, in the most exposed position of the main hall.
More guards arrive and open fire... An armored golf cart with a fifty
caliber machine gun mounted on it comes speeding into the hall,
blasting the Herk...

Inside, the sound of the big bullets is deafening as Shoveler tries to
restart the engine.

		SHOVELER
	No good!  She's dead!

ON CASANOVA AND THE CROOKS, watching the monitor and laughing as
bullets pulverize the Herk.

		TONY P
	Spam in a can!

The crooks laugh.

Butsuddenly, the Herkimer's door is thrown open, revealing our heroes--
holding down Doc Heller, his air cannon at the ready. He fires--there
is a WHOOMPH of air--and the mounted gun and a dozen guards are sent
tumbling...

SECURITY DESK - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA AND THE OTHERS

watching, sobered.

BACK IN THE MAIN HALL - CONTINUOUS

as our heroes come charging out of the Herkimer, using their various
skills to blow through the surprised guards.  Mr. Furious comes out
last, not quite sure what to do with himself.

But suddenly, a withering barrage of machine gun fire is being laid
down on them by three guards firing tommy guns from a balcony
overlooking the floor.  Bullets splatter all around them--and several
unlucky guards are hit--but our heroes dive for cover. The Raja tries
to get off a fork, but the firing is too intense.  Our heroes are
pinned down.

ON MR. FURIOUS as he sees... the bag of canned tornadoes. He's got no
superpowers, and he's scared to death, but he grabs a canned tornado.

		FURIOUS
	Cover me!

		SHOVELER
	With what?

Bullets dancing all around him, Furious runs a desperate (but
impressive) zig-zag pattern across the floor... He performs a wild
somersault, comes up on his feet, pops open the can, and executes a
perfect jump shot, lobbing it right into the balcony.  The tornado
funnels out, and the guards are sent flying.

ON CASANOVA AND THE TOP CROOKS watching...

		ELVIS BROTHER 1
	Who are those guys?

CLOSE ON CASANOVA, who knows who they are.

WHILE BACK IN THE HALL our heroes rally around a shaken Mr. Furious.

		RAJA
	Not bad for a normal guy!

		SPHINX
	Amigos!

		ALL
	Do or die!

EXT.  COURTYARD - A MOMENT LATER - ANGLE ON

the security eye watching...

as the panicking security guards retreat under it into the main tower.

BACK TO CASANOVA -

as he types something into the security computer...

ON THE SCREEN a computerized image of the eye appears. Casanova
highlights the word "Activate" and then presses "Enter".

BACK TO THE COURTYARD - ON THE EYE

as it comes to glowing, sinister life...

A hapless guard retreats under the arch--the Eye instantly focuses on
him, and he is hit by a dozen nasty looking laser beams... that SIZZLE
HIM...

A moment later our heroes arrive at the arch.  Furious is about to run
through, but Doc Heller holds him back.

		HELLER
	Wait!  Look!

He points to... a man shaped pile of charcoal, all that remains of the
unfortunate guard.

		HELLER
	Laser eye... and it's a humdinger.

		RAJA
	No problem.

The Raja takes out a butter knife, aims, and hurls it straight at the
eye, but laser beams intercept the knife and instantly melt it into...
a formless blob of silver.

BACK TO CASANOVA AND THE TOP CROOKS -

		TONY P
	We'll take care of these clowns.

		ELVIS BROTHER 2
	Piece a cake.

		BONE HEAD LEADER
	No sweat.

CORRIDOR - A MOMENT LATER

as Tony P, the top crooks, and the Disco Boys march en masse TOWARD THE
CAMAERA... They are an ugly, formidable looking bunch.

EXT.  COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS

Our heroes are blocked by the eye.

		SHOVELER
	Doc, there's got to be a way.

But the Doc is stymied... Suddenly they hear a woman's voice calling
down to them.

		MONICA'S VOICE
	It's up here!  It's up here!

		FURIOUS
		     (looks up)
	Monica!

EXT.  TOP OF THE FRANKENSTEIN TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Monica leans over the edge of the balcony, the wolf sculpture looming
over her, shouting down at them.

		MONICA
	ROY!  THE PSYCHO THING IS--!

But strong hands suddenly grab her.  It's Casanova.

BACK TO FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

as high above he hears Monica scream.

BACK TO THE BALCONY - CONTINUOUS

Casanova, hand held tightly across Monica's mouth, shouts down
tauntingly to Furious.

		CASANOVA
	Thanks, Roy!  She's just my type. You can have
	her back... when I'm done!

BACK T0 FURIOUS - CONTINUOUS

as he hears Casanova's evil laugh and Monica's scream.  He is desperate
to find a way up, but the wall is completely sheer. He feels helpless-
frantic, near tears...

FLASH TO the terrified little boy trapped in the back of his p8arents'
car, crying, pounding on the windows...

And then... Mr. Furious' hands clench into fists--his hair stands up--
and his face turns into a mask of primordial rage. His button has
finally been pressed.  Be's MAD!  He reaches up as high as he can...

CLOSE ON HIS HAND -

as his fingers literally dig into the concrete of the wall... and he
pulls himself up.

BACK AT THE TOP 0F THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova throws Monica onto the bed, puts his hands on her throat and
strangles her as she thrashes helplessly against his immense strength.

BACK TO FURIOUS -

Fifty feet up and climbing.  He pulls himself up, one hand, then
another, digging in his fingernails, catchng his toes on whatever tiny
cracks he can find... as the others gaze up at him.

		HELLER
	He'll never make it.

		BOWLER
	Think positive.

Meanwhile, Invisible Boy stands staring at the security eye, a look of
fierce determination on his face.  This is his moment.

		INVISIBLE BOY
		(to himself)
	I can do it.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and concentrates...

ON FURIOUS as the fingers of one hand lose their grip and a toehold
gives way... For a desperate moment, Furious is dangling off the wall
by the tips of the fingers of one hand. Only his incredible rage keeps
his fingertips taut.

Suddenly, there is a flash of silver, and a large cake fork embeds in
the concrete not far from his head.  Furious grabs hold of it, and
throws a grateful look down to the Raja...

Who salaams up at him...

As Invisible Boy, eyes closed in concentration, walks very slowly,
hands at his sides, in an almost Egyptian pose... toward the eye...
which stares down mercilessly, waiting for its next victim...

we notice that Invisible Boy has become... just slightly transparent.

AT THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

a look of pleasure on his face as he strangles Monica.  Her resistance
fades.  Her hands fall away.  She is pale, beautiful, almost gone, a
picture of exquisite death.

		CASANOVA
		   (admiring her)
	Some girls just know how to die.

Suddenly, we hear someone cursing Casanova in Russian. He turns and
sees... Anabel standing there, pistol in hand.

		ANABEL
	You two timing psychotic bastard.

		CASANOVA
	Darling, you've got the wrong idea.

		ANABEL
		(aiming at his heart)
	Do I?

		CASANOVA
	I was only strangling her... I've killed hundreds of women.
	It doesn't mean a thing.
		(moving toward her, turning on
		that old Frankenstein Charm)
	Pootchkie, you're over-reacting. This is our
	night.  It's what we've lied for... cheated
	for... murdered for.  She's just a plaything, a
	trifle... You're the only woman who's ever
	meant anything to me. I adore you.  I worship
	you.  I want to make you my bride.

She succumbs to his charms, and he gently takes the pistol out of her
hand.

		CASANOVA
	There's just one thing...
		(with a psychotic smile)
	I don't need you anymore.

A look of terror comes across her face as she sees the murder in his
eyes.

		CASANOVA
	Don't worry, Darling.  I never hit a lady.

EXT.  ON THE WALL - A MOMENT LATER - ON FURIOUS

still climbing as he hears a scream, looks up... and sees Anabel go
plummeting past him.

ON OUR HEROES down below.

		BOWLER
	Heads up!

CAMERA HOLDS ON OUR HEROES, wincing as Anabel hits with an ugly thud.

Suddenly they hear Invisible Boy calling to them.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Guys, I did it! I did it!  I'm invisible!

They all turn and see... Invisible Boy, totally visible, but standing
on the other side of the arch.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Can you see me?

		ALL
	Yes!

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Nuts.

		SHOVELER
	Kid, turn that thing off!

Invisible Boy turns and sees... a computer screen built into the wall
(with the same image of the eye on it that was on Casanova's computer),
but he doesn't have a clue how to turn it off.  Suddenly, he hears
running feet, turns and sees...

The top crooks and the Disco Boys rushing towards him through the giant
sculptures.  He gets an idea... and stands right in front of the
computer screen.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	HEY! CREEPS!

He makes a face at them--and a dozen guns are instantly fired at him.
He jumps clear behind a pillar--as the bullets smash into the wall...
one of them demolishing the computer screen.

CLOSE ON THE EYE -

as it goes dead.

ON INVISIBLE BOY, hiding behind the pillar... realizing he's been shot
in the shoulder.

BACK ON OUR HEROES -

		SHOVELER
	This is it!  DO OR DIE!

The villains form a line, bristling with pistols... as our heroes, led
by Sphinx, Shoveler, and Bowler come running through the arch.  The
threesome go shoulder to shoulder (with our other heroes right behind
them) as the villains open fire, laying down a deadly fusillade...

ON SHOVELER, BOWLER, AND SPHINX, standing together, deflecting their
bullets with shovel, bowling ball, and machete... (as they practiced
with pebbles at the farm)... with the Raja right behind them, hurling
silverware...

ON THE VILLAINS, rapid firing... but their own bullets ricochet back
into them, dropping them... They start to fall back.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Casanova is about to finish Monica.

		CASANOVA
	And the light goes out...

		FURIOUS (0.S.)
	Frankenstein!

Casanova turns and sees... Furious, standing on the balcony.

		CASANOVA
	Roy... What took you so long?

Furious starts at Casanova, who aims Anabel's pistol at him. Furious
hesitates.

		CASANOVA
	Let me guess... Bullets don't hurt you.

		FURIOUS
	They hurt... BUT THEY DON'T STOP ME!

Furious lunges at Casanova--who gets off a shot before Furious grabs
the gun out of his hand.  Casanova ducks clear.  Furious tosses the
pistol away... then realizes he's bleeding from a shoulder wound.

		CASANOVA
	Smarts, doesn't it?... Shall we dance?

He turns on his stereo and the sound of DISCO MUSIC fills the air...

INTERCUT BETWEEN THE TWO FIGHTS - CONTINUOUS

Downstairs, the villains have regrouped.

		TONY P
	Let's rush 'em!

They charge en mass at our heroes... who are waiting for them...
pinching their noses closed, the Spleen bent over at their forefront...

While Casanova dances around Furious like a cat... Furious, fighting
the pain of his bullet wound, lunges at him, and Casanova neatly
sidesteps him...

The crooks and Disco Boys fall back, gasping, choking in the noxious
fumes...

As Casanova attacks...

Advancing shoulder to shoulder, fighting as a team, our heroes wield
machete, fork, shovel, bowling ball, and canned tornado... forcing the
villains back...

Casanova comes at Furious relentlessly, kicking and spinning...  and
Furious gets the worst of it.

Suddenly, a squad of Disco Boys comes charging at our heroes from the
flank... but Doc Heller turns to face them, shrinker spray held Rambo-
style on his hip.  He lets them have it, blasting them with a DENSE
BLUE SPRAY...

When the spray clears, the D Boys lie squirming on the floor, prisoners
in their now child sized disco suits...

		DISCO BOYS
	Help!... Get me out of this!
		        (Etc.)

Upstairs, Casanova pummels Furious...

While, downstairs, the Shoveler dispatches the Elvis Brothers with some
nifty shovel work... But suddenly, the Bland Boys, pistols blazing, are
advancing on him, forcing him back against the base of a sculpture.
But the Raja suddenly leaps up onto the sculpture.

		RAJA (0.S.)
	Gentlemen!

The Bland Boys look up and see... the Raja, both hands filled with
silverware... which he HURLS...

A beat later the Bland Boys, bristling with forks and grapefruit
spoons, run screaming through the sculptures... as Tony P, pistol in
hand, skulks out from behind a sculpture and spots... the Bowler.

Upstairs, Furious goes flying against a wall...

		CASANOVA
	Roy, you're making this too easy.

As Tony P takes a careful bead on the Bowler.

		TONY P
	Say hello to Daddy for me!

He opens fire, but she goes instantly into her ball svinging frenzy...
He fires, missing--she's too fast to keep a bead on... Finally, his gun
clicks empty.  She turns and faces him.

		BOWLER
		     (grimly)
	Daddy says hello.

She HURLS the ball at him--like a fiery softball pitch.

BALL'S POV -

going straight for Tony P's SCREAMING head...

ON THE BOWLER, watching--as Tony's scream is cut short by a gruesose
thud.

Back upstairs Casanova cornmes at Furious again... but Furious ducks
the kick, pops back up and smashes Casanova with his good arm...
sending him flying across the room... Casanova recovers.

		CASANOVA
	Let's change the tune.

He reaches into his pocket and takes out the remote device (that Anabel
used at the luncheon).  He presses a button...

ON THE WOLF SCULPTURE as the jaws open, its eyes glow red... and the
dreadful sound of the Psychostridulator grinds up and FILLS THE NIGHT
AIR LIKE A SIREN.

Downstairs, the foul noise fills the room and our heroes and the
villains all go into a full blown psychotic episode... The villains
start shooting and stabbing each other.

SERIES OF SHOTS - AROUND THE CITY - CONTINUOUS

On Main Street cars slam into each other.  Pedestrians start screaming
and fightinq... A man and his dog snarl and snap at each other...

The Customers at the Lakeside Diner go insane, hurling plates and
food...

At the Shoveler's house the kids turn psycho in front of the
television...

ANGLE ON A TYPICAL SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD -

as the sounds of screaming and smashing dishes and furniture can be
heard coming from all the houses...

LONG ANGLE OF CHAMPION CITY -

as a din of collective insanity rises up from the city...

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS - ON CASANOVA

in full psychotic ecstasy...

		CASANOVA
	WHAT A RUSH!
		(tosses the remote off the balcony)

ON MONICA, still motionless on the bed...

Casanova and Furious collide in the center of the room and grapple in a
contest of psychotically enhanced superhuman strength... Casanova gets
his hands around Furious's throat and crushes it... Furious drops to
his knees, and Casanova thinks he's got him.  But Furious, grimacing
with rage, looks him right in the eye.

		FURIOUS
		   (raspy voiced)
	Is... that... all you got?

Furious grabs Casanova's wrists... and crushes them.  Casanova howls
with pain, loses his grip.  Furious slugs him, again and again... then
he grabs Casanova by the belt, swings him around, and HURLS him into
the air...

Casanova CRASHES into the huge crystal chandelier--there is an
explosion of crystal and glass.  Furious averts his eyes as cut glass
rains down all around him... then he looks up and sees...

Casanova's gold chain has hooked onto a fixture of the chandelier.
Casanova kicks and flails... as he is hanged by the neck on his own
gold chain...

Furious moves to the wolf sculpture.  Be PLUNGES HIS HAND through its
bronze casing, and RIPS OUT the heart of the Psychostridulator, a
flashing football sized device that gives off an unamplifjed, but
higher pitched and more irritating sound...

Furious HURLS the device hard against the floor, and it smashes into a
thousand pieces...

CLOSE ON ONE OF THE PIECES -

In insect sized device that gives off an even higher pitched, even more
disorienting sound.  This is the very nerve center of the
Psychostridulator...

Furious lifts his foot and crushes it hard under his heel...

SILENCE...

Furious drops to his knees, wounded, exhausted... He looks up... at
Casanova, who dangles lifelessly off the chandelier...

		FURIOUS
	Nice dancing with you.

SERIES OF SHOTS - VARIOUS LOCATIONS - CONTINUOUS

as our other heroes return to their senses amidst the vanquished
crooks... the traumatized reunants of whom run for it. Things also
return to normal...

On the street...

At the Lakeside Diner...

And at the Shoveler's house...

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER - CONTINUOUS

Furious moves to the bed, where Monica lies motionless and pale...

		FURIOUS
	Monica...

He touches her face, her eyes open, and she looks at him.

		MONICA
	You're beautiful when you're angry.

He takes her tenderly in his arm... as the Raja, the Shoveler and the
others rush into the room and see... Furious and Monica embracing.

EXT.  OUTSIDE THE FRANKENSTEIN CENTER - A LITTLE LATER

Police cars and news vans arrive... as our heroes, battered, wounded,
but victorious walk proudly down the long stairs...

Furious and Monica hold each other up.  Wounded Invisible Boy has his
arm around the Spleen... while policemen and news people run up the
stairs past them into the center, ignoring them as always...

But this time our heroes could care less.  They are superheroes, and
they don't give a damn who knows it.

INT.  THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

as the Raja opens the door and enters...

		RAJA
	Mama!

She is there, waiting up for him.

		RAJA
	I'm home.

They embrace.

INT. SHOVELER'S DOUSE - NIGHT - CLOSE ON A TV SCREEN

Don Stouffer is reporting.

		DON
	Few details have emerged...

ON THE SHOVELER'S KIDS, on the couch, still rattled by their psychotic
episode, glued to the TV -

		DON (0.S.)
	...but the Dawn Patrol got this exclusive
	interview vith two of the suspects.

ON THE TV -

Dawn Wong interviews the battered, handcuffed Elvis Brothers as they
are led away...

		ELVIS BROTHER I
	I don't know who those guys were--but I never
	want to see 'em again.

		ELVIS BROTHER 2
	Especially that big dude with the shovel...

		ELVIS BROTHER 1
		 (near tears)
	He was the worst!

ON THE KIDS' COLLECTIVE REACTION as they realize who it was... and then
they hear the front door open...

In the front hall the Shoveler enters wearily; his shoulder hurts, his
back is killing him... as his kids come running to him.

		KIDS
	Dad!... Dad!... You okay?... You hurt?

		SHOVELER
		   (shocked by this welcome)
	I'm okay--I'm all right.

		EDDIE JR.
	Lean on me, Dad.

		LENORE
	I'll hold your shovel, Dad.

They lead him back into the living room, and give him the prime spot on
the couch.

		BUTCH
	You want a soda, Dad?

		SHOVELER
		(stunned)
	Okay.

He runs to get it as Eddie Jr. slides a footstool under his feet and
Tracy puts a pillow behind his back.  Roland, the little one, cuddles
up next to him, puts his arm around him.

		ROLAND
	Nice work. Dad.

		SHOVELER
	Thanks, Roland.

		ROLAND
	You really are a superhero, aren't you?

The Shoveler nods.  A few minutes later... The Shoveler sits on the
couch, feet up, soda in hand. The television is off. His kids all
huddled around him, hanging on his every word.

		SHOVELER
	And that's when the engine blew up.

		KIDS
	Whoa...

		BUTCH
	What did you do?

		SHOVELER
	Well...

ON LUCILLE as she comes in and sees... her husband surrounded by his
kids, a happy man at last.

EXT.  LAKESIDE DINER - THE NEXT NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

INT. THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - ON THE SPLEEN

sitting between the Bowler and a bandaged Invisible Boy. The Bowler has
her arm chummily around the Spleen's shoulder. The Spleen finally has
real friends. Doc Heller discusses the art of fork throwing with the
Raja as the Shoveler listens in. The Sphinx sits at the end of the
table, silent.

		DOC HELLER
	So you're never actually conscious of range or
	trajectory?

		RAJA
	Heck no.  I just chuck 'em.

Monica (in her waitress outfit) sits close to a bandaged Mister
Furious.

ON THE TV -

Dawn Wong reports.

		DAWN
	It's been twenty-four hours since the deadly
	psycho-sonic attack and bloody shoot-out that
	left Casanova Frankenstein and dozen of the
	city's top hoodlums dead... But tonight the
	question remains... Who were these heroic
	mystery men who saved our city?...

ON OUR HEROES -

		BOWLER
	Could have been anybody.

They laugh.

		RAJA
	Wait a minute... That's it.  That's our name.
	We're... the Mystery Men.

They all like it, except for the Bowler.

		BOWLER
	Hey, do I look like a Man?

		SHOVELER
	Well we can't call ourselves the Mystery People.

		SPLEEN
		(singing, ala "Macho Man")
	Mystery, Mystery Man... I want to be a Mystery
	Man...

	  		  SHOVELER & RAJA
	Shut up.

		BOWLER
	Eat your mustard.

		FURIOUS
	It doesn't matter what we call ourselves.  We
	know who we are.

		RAJA
	Yes, Obie-wan.

		INVISIBLE BOY
	Hey... he's gone.

The others see... that the Sphinx's chair is empty.  Raja spots a
crumpled napkin on the table, opens it up, and reads.

		RAJA
	"Until you need me again... Adios."

A silence... Reactions from our heroes as they realize that the Sphinx
is gone...

		SHOVELER
	I miss him already.

Suddenly, somewhere in the night, a burst of gunfire and screams are
heard.  THE FINAL MUSIC BEGINS...

		FURIOUS
	Amigos, duty calls.

The Mystery Men wolf their burgers, then stand and start for the
street...

As Monica watches them leave, a PATRON asks her:

		PATRON
	Miss... who are those guys?

		MONICA
		(after a moment)
	I don't know.

JUST OUTSIDE THE DINER - A MOMENT LATER

HEROIC GROUP SHOT as the Mystery Men merch down the middle of street,
toward the sound of the gunfire... and into the night.

THEME AND CREDITS...

THE END
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